Desires Archives | Julie A. Wallace

I’ve hit a point in my income earning where, every so often, I’m pretty sure I’ve got more money than sense.

I buy what I want, when I want, with one click. It’s delivered quickly – no waiting 7-14 days. I use it, read it, try it, and move on to the next thing. Practical money saving sense? It’s gone out the door.

But actually, that’s not true. With more money than sense I am saving more, but also spending more, accruing more debt and (especially for me) accruing a whole lot of stuff.

Kondo Kondo Kondo

No, not Quando Quando Quando

Writing blog posts leads me to the weirdest things.

Marie Kondo is onto something when she talks about items sparking joy. Much of my stuff does bring me pleasure as I smile remembering when and where I got the stuff. Anytime I wear the clothes-stuff that sparks joy, it seems like the whole day is just a little lighter.

(If you’ve been living under a rock and don’t know who Marie Kondo is, this video is a great introduction. It’s an average couple applying the Marie Kondo methods of decluttering to their belongings. )

Some folks crave a lot of stuff and are happy living with lots of stuff, but not me. I actually crave a Zen-like streamlined home. I’m a closet minimalist living in a home with hundreds of books, a tall stack of jeans, and I-don’t-know-how-many black turtlenecks — not to mention the other odds and ends of living, cooking, and (ahem) gardening.

This is not necessarily bad, I guess, but it weighs me down emotionally and eats time.

Having to keep those jeans neatly stacked is a pain. They topple and I refold. Then I think I want the pair on the bottom, but really want the pair in the middle, and the whole pile needs re-building again and again. The same is true with books and yes, they get re-organized, too.

Summer to Winter to Summer to Winter to Summer

Then there’s the whole ‘transitional’ switch from summer to winter and back again with clothes. Here in Michigan, the transition starts for me with cooler weather in September; I start pulling out slightly warmer sweaters and layering a little more.

This year, though, winter came on slowly. So even in December, I wasn’t wearing my warmest clothes. Finally, in January the truly cold weather hit and I pulled the last of my super warm things out of the ‘storage’ closet into the ‘actively wearing’ closet.

And the whole process reverses March-April-May when I start pulling out lightweight sweaters and jackets to accommodate for the slowly rising (and oft times falling) temperatures. It will probably end in June or whenever the first week of temperatures hits 80-90s.

That’s not efficient, it’s crazy.

To me, more money than sense means I go to the thrift store and spend $50 just because I can. It means an order arriving from Amazon once a week, and eating out whereever and whenever I please. It means yet another class about a really interesting subject that I will not apply to everyday life. (See This Voraciousness for a slightly different perspective.)

Simpler Times

More money than sense means I cater to my whims and (for goodness sake whodathunkit) think about ‘simpler times’ when I had less money. My desires were just as great, but my ability to attain those goals was much less.

I imagine we all have a point where we hit that “more money than sense” point. Not that we all recognize it once we’ve hit it…

For sure we know when we see it in others; but then again, fixing someone else’s life is always easier than fixing our own. My own. Do you know what I mean?

Observing patterns in my life and then changing those patterns is not an easy task; just look at the various ways you can spend hours looking at patterns. And yet, in the journey towards higher consciousness that is precisely what you have to strive to do. Find the pattern, change the pattern.

I’m vaguely Marie Kondo-ing, or at least sending heaps of things to the thrift store. I’m looking at goals and realizing I’ve moved towards them ever so slightly or not one damned step. I’m forgiving myself.

I’m as complicated and complicit as ever. Complicated because, in a society built around being ‘coupled’ being single and ‘doing it all’ is freaking hard – even for a super independent person like me. And complicit because there’s never anyone else but me to blame: it’s definitely my fault, no question about it.

Sigh.

More money than sense? I’ve hit that point and I’m stunned. I’m still not even sure what that means to me going forward. I’m OK with not knowing (which can lead to its own issues like analysis paralysis – a personal favorite. Still, there is forward movement, one bold baby step at a time.

Like a caterpillar turning into a butterfly, life coaching is a transformational process. You begin the process and gradually you and your world change – all for the better and more beautiful. Here are five reasons you might want to hire a life coach.

Patterns and Obstacles

This is the reason I hired a life coach.

It became painfully obvious that I was complaining about the same things: I hate my job, I hate my life, I hate the way the sun is shining, and I hate that I have these dreams desires and nothing ever happens with them.

I was tired of the repeating refrain of sadness.

I sent an email to my friend (and now life coach) that said, “I’m sending this email now before I chicken out. I want to hire you as a life coach.”

Listening Skills

I poured out my sad story to my coach in our first meeting. And she listened, and listened, and then kept listening.

There were questions, of course, but mostly she listened.

A life coach listens deeply. Listens with her full self. And, perhaps more importantly, listens without judgement.

And while friends are there to listen, they tend to conspire with you as both judge and jury: you were wronged. Nothing is resolved, other than the fact that you’ll talk again soon.

A life coach, on the other hand, guides you to see your role in the wronging, and to help you figure out ways that it might go different next time.

Encouragement

In addition to listening deeply, a life coach is there to support you every step of the way. She acts as your personal cheerleader, encouraging you with whatever you choose to do.

For some, this may be one of the few times in life where there is encouragement without judgement. If you want to sell your ju-ju beads on Etsy, your coach will be there with you through all the ups and downs.

Accountability

The other thing that a life coach helps with is accountability. I really don’t like the word, but I what it infers. Being accountable means that you are trustworthy – that you will do what you say you will. It means that you are responsible for what happens.

A coach holds you accountable for what you do and say. Together you decide what you want to achieve by the next meeting.

In my case, sometimes it’s very concrete goals: I want to have two blog posts written, or I want to have the outline for the project done. Other times, it’s more fuzzy: I think I want to listen to my intuition and see what it says I need to do.

Your coach keeps track of these goals. And at your next meeting, she will ask you if you accomplished the goals. If you did, great – you can explore how that went.

But what if you failed and just couldn’t finish anything? The answer is still great, and you explore how that went. The point isn’t always to achieve every single goal, but rather to understand your motivation behind the goal and why you were not able to achieve it.

Dreams and Desires

A coach holds your dreams close to her heart. She ‘holds space’ for those things to grow and bloom and flourish in your life.

She helps you explore various possibilities, and then helps you figure out what will work for you to test those possibilities out. And after the testing, she still works with you to hone and further refine your dreams and desires.

And, even better, your coach is there to celebrate all of your achievements – big and small.

Why Hire A Life Coach?

Here are sometimes when a life coach might be right for you:

If you have some things you’ve always wanted to do, but just haven’t gotten around to doing them.
If you’re feeling stuck or frustrated with how things are and are ready for a change.
If you’re going through menopause and feeling like everything is changing.
If you’re newly retired and not quite sure what to do with yourself.

A life coach is here to be by your side through these transformations – and beyond. Contact me today to explore your possibilities or send an email to julie AT julieawallace.com.