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Reading

Year In Books 2023

One of my missions this year revolves around writing. And writing means books: writing the second draft of a book plus sharing the books I read through the year.

Yes, I’ve done the whole Good Reads annual reading challenges and I’ve shared Amazon links…but I felt something was missing from those.

Bookshop.org

And then I learned about Bookshop.org. This company “connects readers with independent booksellers all over the world. More specifically, they given over 80% of their profit margin to independent bookstores.

My local, independent bookstore is Sleepy Dog Books. The community-focused boutique bookstore opened in downtown Mount Pleasant last year. It’s been a pleasure to have a bookstore just a few blocks from my house.

Just before Christmas I walked in and asked for recommendations for gifts. The two recommendations ended up being some of my favorite books this year: Remarkably Bright Creatures by Shelby Van Pelt and The Book Woman of Troublesome Creek.

I’m A Bookshop Affiliate

Once I learned about Bookshop and realized that I could get books and support my local bookstore (and walk in the bookstore, too) I jumped at the chance to be a Bookshop Affiliate.

For you, that means if you click through one of the links below and finalize a purchase, I earn a small commission. My affiliate store is also linked to Sleepy Dog, so some of that purchase will also benefit Sleepy Dog. (I’m not quite sure how all that works, it’s my first year doing this.)

(Disclosure: All of the links to books are Bookshop.org affiliate links. If you click through the link and finalize a purchase, I earn a commission.)

Bookshop Advantages and Disadvantages

The most obvious advantage is that any purchase from Bookshop helps me and my local, independent bookstore a little bit. It also helps keep dollars away from Amazon, which I contribute to enough over the year!

The biggest disadvantage I’ve found so far is that Bookshop doesn’t have the depth that Amazon or even Barnes and Noble has. For example, because I published my poetry book through Amazon KDP, it’s not available at Bookshop; maybe I should do something about that, right?

If it’s an older or out-of-print book, you may not find it at Bookshop because they (so far) don’t deal in used books. In turn that means you’re buying a new book which can be pricey at times.

Still, I feel the opportunity to support local, independent bookstores far outweighs the extra cost – especially when I’d buy the darned books anyway. This year, I’ll look to Bookshop first!

Favorite Books of 2022

  • D: A Tale of Two Worlds by Michel Faber
  • Major Pettigrew’s Last Stand by Helen Simonson
  • Remarkably Bright Creatures by Shelby Van Pelt
  • The Book Woman of Troublesome Creek (and the sequel The Book Woman’s Daughter) by Kim Michele Richardson
  • Anything and everything by Mary Robinette Kowal. This year I learned about the Lady Astronaut series and fell absolutely in love with both the story and the writing. Start with The Calculating Stars and, if you’re like me, you’ll read your way through the rest of the series in no time.
  • The Falcon’s Eyes by Francesca Stanfill
  • The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova (and The Shadow Land by the same author)
  • The Miniaturist by Jessie Burton
  • The Raven Tower by Ann Leckie
  • Women of the Silk by Gail Tsukiyama

Felt Like Visiting An Old Friend, ie, Honorable Mentions for 2022

  • A Sunlit Weapon by Jacqueline Winspear. Sigh, the Maisie Dobbs mystery series is fantastic.
  • The Dressmaker’s Secret by Rosalie Ham (great if you loved the first book or movie)
  • The INFJ Writer by Lauren Sapala
  • The Nature of Jade by Deb Caletti
  • The Very Secret Society of Irregular Witches by Sangu Mandanna.

All Books Read in 2022

  • A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas
  • A Sunlit Weapon by Jacqueline Winspear
  • Birthright by Nora Roberts
  • Crossings by Alex Landragin
  • D: A Tale of Two Worlds by Michel Faber
  • Don’t Stop The Music by Hannes A. Jonsson
  • Fire Monks: Zen Mind Meets Wildfire by Colleen Morton Busch
  • Galileo’s Dream by Kim Stanley Robinson
  • Groupies by Sarah Priscus
  • How to Tell A Story by Meg Bowles
  • Jessica’s Guide to Dating on the Dark Side by Beth Fantaskey
  • Living to Tell The Tale by Gabriel Garcia Marquez
  • Major Pettigrew’s Last Stand by Helen Simonson
  • Memoir of the Sunday Brunch by Jula Pandl
  • My Antonia by Willa Cather
  • Owen 9 by George C. Wilson
  • Poor Man’s Feast by Elissa Altman
  • Remarkably Bright Creatures by Shelby Van Pelt
  • Revenge of the Middle-Aged Woman by Elizabeth Buchan
  • Secrets of the Tides (also known as The House of Tides) by Hannah Richelle
  • Super Host by Kate Russo
  • Take the Long Path by Joan de Hamel
  • The Book of Lost Friends by Lisa Wingate
  • The Book Woman of Troublesome Creek by Kim Michele Richardson
  • The Book Woman’s Daughter by Kim Michele Richardson
  • The Boston Girl by Anita Diamant
  • The Calculating Stars by Mary Robinette Kowal
  • The Dressmaker’s Gift by Fiona Valpy
  • The Dressmaker’s Secret by Rosalie Ham
  • The Falcon’s Eyes by Francesca Stanfill
  • The Fated Sky by Mary Robinette Kowal
  • The Fire by Night by Teresa Messineo
  • The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova
  • The Husband’s Secret by Liane Moritary
  • The INFJ Writer by Lauren Sapala
  • The Inheritance Games by Jennifer Lynn Barnes
  • The Last Mrs. Summers by Rhys Bowen
  • The Little Lady Agency in the Big Apple by Hester Browne
  • The Long Quiche Goodbye by Avery Aames
  • The Madness of Crowds by Louise Penny
  • The Miniaturist by Jessie Burton
  • The Nature of Jade by Deb Caletti
  • The Raven Tower by Ann Leckie
  • The Relentless Moon by Mary Robinette Kowal
  • The Shadow Land by Elizabeth Kostova
  • The Shortest Way Home by Miriam Parker
  • The Testaments by Margaret Atwood
  • The Very Secret Society of Irregular Witches by Sangu Mandanna
  • The Yellow House by Sarah Broom
  • Vanderbilt: The Rise and Fall of an American Dynasty by Anderson Cooper
  • Wither by Lauren DeStefano
  • Women of the Silk by Gail Tsukiyama
  • Write Away by Elizabeth George

Your Turn

What’s in your to-read stack for 2023? I’ve already worked my way through one book and am starting on another. I’ve found another interesting website to help track books (and I already have Good Reads and Library Thing;) so I think I’ll work on a comparison of the three sites.

What are you currently reading? What do I need to read?

Processing Your Issues With Polarities, Triangles, and Squares

In the journey toward higher consciousness, you learn to work on yourself and your issues by processing. What are issues? And what the heck is processing?

You Have Issues

An issue is a vague term that can signify nearly anything that pushes your buttons. Things like this:

  • I can’t stop obsessing about…
  • Conspiracy theories are true (or not, depending on your stance.)
  • I hate my job, life, school…
  • Climate change is real (or is not – depending on your stance.)
  • I get angry when a driver cuts me off in traffic.
  • Politics drives me crazy.
  • Why do I argue so much with my spouse?
  • What has my self-talk sounded like over the last month?
  • Why do I always seem to get sick around Thanksgiving?

Years ago, processing took a long time, or maybe I couldn’t really tell when processing was finished.

I just knew that after thinking about some issue there would be a natural resting place or resolution where it felt like I was finished with the issue for the time being.

That’s not very helpful, is it?

What Is Processing?

Fortunately, Leslie Temple-Thurson offers an excellent definition of processing and some incredible techniques to help with processing in her book The Marriage of Spirit: Enlightened Living in Today’s World:

“Processing is a form of self-inquiry. The term to process means to examine and to inquire deeply into the nature of our conditioned and unbalanced egoic patterning with the intention of finding the truth. We process our consciousness in order to become clear and to find our wholeness.”

Page 23, The Marriage of spirit by Leslie temple-thurston

Essentially, you review the code inside of you and -through processing-replace that with new code.

Processing helps you find a sense of balance for the time being.

Of course, life and consciousness work in spiral patterns, so the issue you’ve worked to resolve today will most assuredly come into your life in the future.

Having processed the issue, though, you are better able to deal with the experience. Processing helps you become calmer and wiser human.

The Practice of Processing

That’s all fine, of course, but what does processing look like in practice? Let’s look at my real-life issue: I hate being told what I can and can’t do.

Like really really don’t like it. Anytime I’m told I’m not allowed to do something, my automatic reaction is WHY? What’s so wrong with? That’s not fair. It’s not right.

It’s a feeling in my gut, in my solar-plexus. This is the location of the solar plexus chakra, the seat of manifesting our personal power in the world.

In Sanskrit, the word for the solar plexus chakra is Manipura, and it’s represented by the element of fire. This area of the body is about being grounded in your power, setting the direction of your life, and holding your opinions and beliefs.

So when I am told I can’t do something, I interpret those words -whatever they are, and however they’re delivered- as a personal attack.

Fire and Anger

The words hit like a sucker punch to my gut. I feel helpless. I feel victimized. The wind is out of my sails and I am the Ancient Mariner, adrift with no wind, no water, and the albatross of anger around my neck.

And boy, am I angry.

It’s a self-righteous, firey, burning anger. It’s the kind of anger that makes me want to scream, “how could you!” in situations where such an emotional outburst would do nothing to move the situation forward, and would – no doubt – cause more damage anyway.

Using the techniques of polarity, triangles, and squares, I can move through these feelings and better recognize them the next time they appear in my life.

Of course it doesn’t quite stop the reaction, but it does slow it down, and make me far more aware of the fact that my reaction is waaaaaay out of proportion with the criticism. And being aware of how you are reacting is one of the names of the evolving higher consciousness game.

The Polarity Technique

I’m going to take a little longer to write out exactly how to do this first technique. And – just for fun and you’re enjoyment of peaking into some of my innermost thoughts – I’ll use an example of me being told I can’t do something… or that I have to do something a different way.

(I’m kind of a little angry just thinking about that kind of a situation, so clearly, there’s more processing for me to do with that.)

The basic steps for the polarity technique are:

  • Pick an experience
  • Write about the experience
  • Pick out important words and phrases
  • Make a list of those important words and phrases
  • Find the opposites
  • Offer it up with a prayer
  • Wait for grace.

After you’ve picked the experience to explore, write it down. Get detailed. .

Writing it out has the ability to take the sting and bite out of the experience; it releases the tension and allows your mind to look at the experience from many different angles.

An abbreviated version might look like this:

I can’t believe that insensitive tyrant stoops to such petty nonsense. It doesn’t do anybody any good if you insist on something that makes no damned sense, and then don’t stick around to help with the implementation. It’s so frustrating to have someone (who thinks they know how this should work) criticize just this one tiny thing, but then never bother to praise the 10,000 other things I do right every.single.day. I know I should calm down about this, and I know that this happens all the time, but seriously? I am so angry. I’m frustrated. There’s not a damn thing I can do to change this situation and I feel so powerless.

After you write that experience down, you may need to take a break before proceeding.

Find the important words and phrases that are repeated over and over in the writing. What’s the theme that comes to you from this experience?

Make a list of those important words and phrases. Go over and over this list and make it as comprehensive as you can. You might even use Thesaurus.com and find a whole host of other words that relate to the list of words you’re focusing on.

Or maybe you’re not as word geeky as I am – lol.

What are some of the key words and phrases from that (very short) rant?

  • can’t believe
  • insensitive
  • tyrant
  • stoop to
  • petty nonsense
  • makes no damned sense
  • stick around to help
  • it’s so frustrating
  • think they know how it should work
  • criticise this tiny thing
  • never bother to praise
  • I should calm down
  • angry
  • frustrated
  • powerless

In The Marriage of Spirit, Leslie Temple-Thurston writes that each word “…represents a vibratory frequency, which fills in the picture much more clearly. The more filled-in the picture is, the bigger the breakthrough you are going to have, and the more tangible the shift will be.”

The next step is to find the opposites for each word on your list.

  • can’t believe —– I believe
  • insensitive —- sensitive
  • tyrant —- benevolent leader
  • stoop to —- raise up
  • petty nonsense —- wisdom and understanding
  • makes no damned sense —- makes sense
  • never helps —- helpful
  • frustrating —- inspire
  • think they know how it should work —- practical experience
  • criticize this tiny thing —- compliment
  • no praise —- compliment or praise
  • I should calm down —- It’s OK to be agitated
  • Angry —- content
  • Frustrated —- fulfilled
  • Powerless —- capable and competent

When you’ve come up with the best list you can, and you’ve thoroughly looked at all of the opposites (really use that Thesaurus website and explore the different ways to express the words) — then you offer it up in prayer.

How you offer this prayer is entirely up to you. It doesn’t matter if you do this formally with a fancy ritual, or if you dance naked in the moonlight around a roaring campfire. Howl at the moon, burn the writing and the list, speak to the goddesses, or have a chat with Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed, nature spirits, and your ancestors all at the same time. Totally up to you.

The important part is that you are sincere in your offering. Really put your heart and soul into the prayer. Aim for something like this:

Dear spirit, guides and ancestors, and all that gather to hear my words, my heart is heavy. I am weary of feeling so unbalanced. Please take these patterns in me and clear them. Do this so I may feel more lighthearted and am better able to be the best that I can be while I am here walking on this earth. I give thanks knowing that this will be done. Namaste. So be it. Amen.

adapted from p. 166 of The Marriage of Spirit

The final step in working with polarities is simply to wait (Temple-Thurston calls it waiting for grace) and writes:

When grace comes in, you may feel a shift in your physical body or in your subtle body. Or maybe you will have some emotions pass through. Or perhaps you will suddenly start getting insights. Or that night you might have significant dreams…”

Eventually, as you work at this, practicing polarities becomes natural. You’ll be criticized and feel angry, but think, “I am angry at these words, and I am also calm and competent. These words are not about me…” or something similar.

Some day, you may even be able to save writing the experience and the words and the opposites for more complex issues.

The Triangle Technique

Once you understand how to work with opposites, processing with triangles and squares is easier to understand. Here are the basic steps for triangles:

  • Choose a polarity
  • Write it on the baseline points of a triangle
  • Find the ascended balance and write it at the apex of the triangle
  • Offer it up in prayer, and ask for the ascended state to be instituted instead of the polarity.
  • Wait for grace.

The triangles work with what my primary meditation teacher might call The Law of Threes: for every pair of opposite there is a higher resolution or balance point. For example,

  • power and powerlessness resolve upward to surrender and humility.
  • Loss and gain resolve as neutrality.
  • Control and loss of control might resolve as detachment, surrender, and neutrality.
  • Victim and tyrant resolve as selflessness and forgiveness.

Temple-Thurston includes a list of ascended balance states — ie, the resolution of that tension between two opposites. Here are some:

  • Acceptance
  • Attunement
  • Balance
  • Compassion
  • Detachment
  • Equanimity
  • Forgiveness
  • Gratitude
  • Harmony
  • Humility
  • Joy
  • Patience
  • Tolerance
  • Trust
  • Unity
  • Wisdom

The Squares Technique

Squares are yet another way to work with issues that just never seem to go away.

  • Choose a polarity
  • Draw a large square. Divide the square into four smaller squares. In the upper two squares write: fear of (polarity 1) and desire to (polarity 1.) In the lower two squares write fear of polarity 2 and desire to polarity 2. See the image below for what it should look like.
  • Apply data — fill in the squares (and the edges around the squares and however much paper you need) with every possible way in which you know that desire or fear.
  • Offer the square up to spirit.
  • Wait for grace.

Temple-Thurston offers plenty of examples to explore in your life:

  • Dependent and Independent
  • Inferior and Superior
  • Approval and Disapproval
  • Lack and Abundance
  • Victim and Tyrant
  • Manipulative and Straight Forward

Try It Out

These three techniques have so many applications, and I’ve only begun to explore them. Truth be told, I’ve only glanced at the rest of the book because these techniques blew me away.

Learn more about the work of Leslie Temple-Thurston at CoreLight.

Download key chapters of The Marriage of Spirit

Buy The Marriage of Spirit at Amazon. (I am an Amazon Affiliate. If you click on a link and buy something (even if it’s not the particular book,) I receive a little compensation. I think I’ve made $5-10 over the years of blogging, probably because I’ve clicked on my links – lol.)

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Remember that you are in an exceptional hour in a unique epoch, that you have this great happiness, this invaluable privilege, of being present at the birth of the new world.

— The Mother of the Sri Aurobindo Ashram

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