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Reading Soothes My Soul (July 2018)

Since my last reading roundup, my book time has slowed down. Maybe it’s the increase in the sunshine that makes me want to get up and do things (hello Vitamin D!) or maybe it’s because I actually HAVE been doing more things:

  • I  learned Reiki.
  • I learned Quantum Healing Hypnosis Therapy.
  • I started working on a certification in teaching Mindfulness so I can bring the power of this practice to the greater Mount Pleasant community.
  • I went to Mackinaw Island with my mom and sister. It was our first “girls getaway” in (I think) forever, and it was fabulous.
  • I’ve been cleaning out my basement.

Basement Life Lessons

There is a real life lesson in that “cleaning out my basement” point. The basement of your house is a true foundation, both literally (it holds up your house) and figuratively (representing the foundation upon which you stand.)

If your basement is cluttered and dirty like mine was, it lurks in the back of your mind. I was thinking, “Oh, I’ll get to it some day.”

On the other hand, I had dreams of moving my office space to the basement. In turn, I’d gain a guest room. Or maybe, I’d gain  a place to practice both reiki and Quantum Healing Hypnosis Therapy.

Like any big project, I broke cleaning the basement into small segments. For five straight days, I spent 1-2 hours cleaning and straightening.

Like I said, it was a MESS.

Several times during the cleaning process, I’ve stopped and visualized what I want in the basement. And by visualize, I mean I’ve literally walked around, and pretended to show someone around my beautiful basement. I get very detailed, too.

Well first I had to clean, right, and that took a few days. Then I had a friend help me paint the walls. The floor I had done professionally – and it makes such a difference to make it light and bright down here. The office moved down next, and I love using this old desk from the 60s that came with the house. Just walking down to the space feels like going to “work” versus going into a different room. There’s a space here for storage; I’m so happy I can finally store my winter clothes downstairs. The boiler was replaced, and the house finally has air conditioning.

Funny thing is, describing these changes only increases my desire to get the space cleaned. All this cleaning left me little time for reading!

(Total non sequitur) Of course, my reading was also hampered by binge watching the epic sci-fi pseudo opera TV show Babylon 5 as it streamed for free on Amazon Prime in June. It was my first time watching the show and I loved it. Back to the books.

Full disclosure: I am an Amazon Affiliate. If you click on a link and buy something (even if it’s not the particular book,) I receive a little compensation.

Summer Reading

  

Seanan McGuire is rapidly becoming one of my favorite authors. I learned about her from a friend who reads more than me and we both have devoured most of her books – which is saying a lot. The InCryptid series follows professional ballroom dancer turned friend-of-monsters Verity Price as she shimmies at the bar, tumbles across rooftops, and fights the good fight. All that and burgeoning true love. First in the series is Discount Armageddon. I just finished Midnight Blue-Light Special, too.


The Wise Heart by Jack Kornfield. As part of the mindfulness certification, I had to read a book or several about mindfulness. Jack Kornfield is a good introduction, and I really liked how he broke down the functions of mindfulness into things I could easily understand and relate. Gentle wisdom and good storytelling combine with modern psychology.

Summers at Blue Lake is the first novel from Jill Althouse-Wood. Take one miserable divorce, two grandmother lesbians, and fond memories of summers spent at the lake…then combine with the pieces of a puzzle coming together in one bittersweet picture. It’s a darned fine summer read.


Clear Home, Clear Heart by Jean Haner. Not long ago I watched a video of Jean Haner in one of those free summits I post about on Facebook. I was captivated by her talking about clearing space, so picked up this book, and within a day or so had cleared myself and my cats – thanks to a pendulum and copper dowsing rods. I cleared the house, too, which may explain the whole basement thing; and yes, the house felt different after I cleared it. Hmmm, maybe I should get certified in space and personal clearing, too?


The “Honor Harrington” novels by David Weber. Also recommended by a friend, this is another sci-fi epic space odessy  of novels. I chunked my way through ten of them, then just had to put the books down – not because they’re not good, mind you. Instead, I got tired of the militaristic (war mongering?) focus. But if you love sci fi, don’t let that stop you from trying these out; I suspect I’ll be back into the series at some point. Start with the first in the series – On Basilisk Station – to get a real feel for the brilliance of Honor Harrington.

The Memory Code by Dr. Lynne Kelly. As I write this, I’m about half way through this book, subtitled “The Secrets of Stonehenge, Easter Island, and Other Ancient Monuments.” It’s incredible. She’s explored how Australian Aborigines encode memory (events, people, seasons) into places, and then extrapolated and applied to her own life. In one chapter she takes the reader on a walk around her neighborhood. She uses the objects and places to help her remember geological and archaeological history.

 As Epsi [her dog] and I walk down the drive from home, the first life – the first photosynthesis- is happening… We walk through geological eras and eons, one per house: Hadean, Archean, Proterozoic, Paleozoic, and into the Mesozoic. The last house on the block has a very messy garden, which makes remembering that this is the Mesozoic very easy.  For a reason I have never been able to discern, Epsi doesn’t like the Mesozoic and tries to head back home when we get there. I pick her up and nod to the dinosaurs as I carry her through the Triassic, Jurassic and Cretaceous. From the Pliocene on, she is perfectly happy to walk, even though the big noisy dogs are at the house with Lucy, the famous australopithecine from the Pliocene who has no idea the stir her skelatal remains will one day cause when they are found over three million years later. I turn the first corner in the Jurassic, 200 million years ago. By the time we reach the next corner, now well into the Cenozoic, we have encountered many long-extinct hominid species. Homo erectus stands upright just as I get to the last house on this block. The corner is one million years ago, which I decided was the best place to change from geologic time to archaeological time and enter the Paleolithic.

But what really kerpd me reading is the fact that she has applied this knowledge of encoding memory into many other ancient monuments around the world – including Stonehenge and New Grange. Fascinating!


The Book of Air and Shadows by Michael Gruber A thriller with books, bookstores, book writers, and book restoration? Yes please. There’s a secretive twist on Shakespeare, too. This book spans centuries and continents and is a true fun read. I’d read more by Michael Gruber.

Have you read anything good recently? Tell me about it in the comments.

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Feeling My Age

I’m not too sure when it started, but recently I’ve been feeling my age.

Grey Hair

My hair started to truly “go grey” ten or eleven years ago in  my forties. There had been strands of grey all along, but I really started to notice the changes then.

I started coloring my hair. Sometimes the color was great: I got along with the stylist, and she had magic touch with coloring. There were several shes, mind you, as over eleven years there have been countless different stylists.

Other times, the stylist wasn’t so skilled, and my hair would have no depth or interest.

This summer, I’m transitioning from fully colored hair to straight up grey.  I totally trust and love my stylist, and am ready to embrace all this grey hair.

The grey reflects the inside changes that have been happening throughout menopause. This menopause feels like a great turning or moving a lake one teaspoon at a time. The ‘maiden’ part of my life is long over, the ‘mother’ part is ending, and the ‘crone’ part is just beginning.

Slower Recovery Time

As I shared on Facebook, I recently hurt my back. Sure, I’ve hurt it before, but I recovered quickly.

Over the last few years, recovery times take longer – for everything. The nights of staying out late or having cocktails for dinner are long gone. I hesitate with one glass of wine because even that can make me feel hungover in the morning.

And mornings? Coming up and out from the depths of sleep takes longer. Getting this beautiful body out of bed and moving takes a little longer, too. Once up and going, I’m usually good to go…unless I hurt my back.

Then it’s PJ’s and books or streaming videos all day. And – as it happens – the occasional blog post.

Deepening Awareness

But feeling my age isn’t all about turning grey and slowing down. That great turning is unfolding a greater awareness of everything: of me, my world, others in my world.

Maybe it’s the fact that I’ve meditated and practiced mindfulness for so long, I don’t know. But there is such a deepening awareness it’s hard to put into words. It sounds poetic or hokey, like this:

I walked around my yard not long ago and said hello to all of the plants returning to life after winter. Hello to the peonies, phlox, sedum, hello to the little plum and peach trees I planted last year. I swear they talk back in their own plant way.

But this is a very real thing for me. When I choose to be aware, everything is alive. And more and more as I age, I choose awareness.

Emerging Wisdom

While I am feeling my age and talking to the plants, I have no plans to dwell in sadness or mourn the loss of youth. As a younger woman, I wrote a lot of poetry; so much so that I’m working at gathering all of those poems into a collection.

Here’s a sneak peak written by a 30-something year-old me. She was still scared of the world, scared of who she was becoming. And now? Not so scared, and not yet fully me.

IAM Becoming One

 

The One inside of me isn’t afraid of anything.

She’s more than happy to take on the world,

Because she knows that even in defeat

there are countless victories.

 

The One inside of me keeps shining her

flashlight, strobe light, guiding light, spotlight,

her bright Light for me to see my next step.

 

The one I am now is afraid of everything:

loud noises, quiet noises, excess noises,

and no noise at all. I am in between now:

I am not fully me, and I am not who I shall become.

 

I see the One I am becoming peeking out

from behind heavy curtains. Occasionally,

she puts on a simple costume and

speaks with other parts of me.

 

She, the One I shall become, knows all of me.

She is wise, kind, and compassionate.

She knows the struggles within process.

She knows enlightenment.

 

The One inside of me is not burdened by sorrow,

not tethered to memory, or to what “might” be.

She is a dancer, moving sublimely through life’s

intricate transitions. She gladly welcomes death.

She speaks her mind without fear.

She is innocence and maturity, crone and maiden.

She is the three sisters, and she is One.

 

The One inside of me has a hammer, sledge hammer,

jack hammer. She slams into what’s left of this

body’s shell. She slams into the fragile person

I cling to. She is a destroyer, a life giver.

Midlife Crisis or Midlife Revolution?

Coined in 1965 by Elliott Jacques, the ‘midlife crisis’ is a term that implies that getting older is a disease. It suggests that life is completely over when you hit midlife, and that -with just one crisis- you’re ‘over it’ and better.

I see the phrase ‘midlife crisis’ as just one more way that Western (and specifically American) culture sends a message that you aren’t good enough the way you are today. And I think it’s hogwash, because it’s not a midlife crisis – it’s a midlife revolution.

Midlife Crisis or Midlife Revolution?

Midlife for me has (so far) been about a great change in my life. In a way, my life has been ‘revolving’ and ‘evolving’ in ways I never thought it could. And in other ways, I feel like I’m truly coming home to settle in my skin and celebrate myself.

On Twitter, though, people using #midlifecrisis seem to assume that being in midlife is bad. Of course, there’s a humorous twist to each of the tweets; Twitter is for quick comments like those you might make at a cocktail party. The posts can be serious, snarky, and funny, like this one:

Pink unicorns in and of themselves are not a midlife crisis. But boy, society wants us to turn over and die already. The thinking is that at age 42, you’re definitely OLD, and most certainly too old for all sorts of things, including pink unicorn tops.

But buying a top with a pink unicorn isn’t a crisis, it’s a revolution. It’s a cry from your inner child, from the younger version of you, to really truly celebrate who you are.

It’s a shout to say, “This is who I am, world, get over it.” And if wearing pink unicorns is what you’re about, then do it with gusty.

Or, at least to let your silly side show. And the fact that you’re willing to follow this wild cry is a beautiful thing – revolutionary, even.

Because one thing this world definitely needs is to learn to (at least) appreciate if not downright celebrate aging and all that it brings, ammitright?

Aging Is Awesome

In the ‘aging is horrible’ category, there’s this lament from twenty-something @dylandonnelly12.  Being just as close to 30 as you are 18 is definitely not a midlife thing, and it’s certainly no crisis. Being in high school sucked a lot more than being an adult – at least for me.

And while my 20s were fun, I don’t want to go back there (except for the ability to recover from having a couple of glasses of wine faster…now that I would like to get back. This song from Jamie Cullum sums up the 20-something experience… And it aint’ no midlife crisis.

 

Hair Color Is A Revolution

Going brunette after being blonde for 25 years is not a crisis, either. It’s a way to trust your inner feelings, and take a wild leap into a new version of you.

Right now I’m transitioning from a regular hair dye about the same color as my natural hair into a full-blown head of grey hair. It’s a wild leap to trust both my stylist and my inner instincts. It’s both frightening and exciting at the same time.

I’ve got all sorts of questions running around in my head: Who will I be with grey hair? What does that mean for my life? What color of grey is it going to be?

And I have all sorts of answers, too: I’m still me, and it means nothing – other than you’re getting older and gaining more wisdom. In some ways, the transition from brunette to grey is an outward manifestation of the amazing inner revolution that midlife has brought me through.

Wrinkles Are A Revolution

Wrinkles are part of life, too. They’re an indication that you’ve lived a full life.

And who says you have to be mature to be 50? Ask anyone who – around age 50 – has bought a fast sports car or dated someone *much* younger than them.

Heck, I don’t even know what ‘being mature’ means, anymore than I know what it means to be a ‘real’ adult.

I’m a firm believer that -if you are your own kooky, crazy self -you’ll be a-ok. And probably a whole lot happier, wrinkles and all.

The Power of Asking A Question

Oh, I ask this question every day, or almost every day. Well, at least once a week, month, and definitely more than once a year.

For me, the “what the heck am I doing” question is really the universe sending you the message that it’s time to change things up.  And if you’re willing to ask the question, you’ve got to be brave enough to listen for the answer your soul offers.

 

The Midlife Revolution

Wikipedia defines a midlife crisis as “…a transition of identity and self-confidence that can occur in middle-aged individuals, typically 45–64 years old. The phenomenon is described as a psychological crisis brought about by events that highlight a person’s growing age, inevitable mortality, and possibly shortcomings of accomplishments in life. This may produce feelings of depression, remorse, and anxiety, or the desire to achieve youthfulness or make drastic changes to current lifestyle.”

Midlife (and menopause in particular) is not a disease. It’s the opportunity to pause and take stock. And the time it takes to do that is up to you.

For me, the revolution started in earnest after returning from a spiritual journey to Peru. I came back into ‘my real life’ and was unhappy…to put it mildly. And in the ensuing years, I’ve set in motion things that will redefine my life – for the rest of my life.

I spent a year becoming a life coach. I learned Quantum Healing Hypnosis Therapy. Right now I’m working through a mindfulness certification so I can bring the practice to more people. All of these things are going to contribute to this new life I’m creating.

But it didn’t happen overnight, and it didn’t happy without some weeping and wailing – and hot flashes. I’ve described my midlife revolution as moving the ocean of my life into another basin one tablespoon at a time. Some of the drops of water don’t make the transition, and sometimes you pick up things along the way that you never knew you wanted.

Midlife is a time of transition. It’s a time to celebrate and cry, to laugh and mourn. And it’s a time to discover that wild heartbeat within you.

Top 5 Reasons To Hire A Life Coach

Like a caterpillar turning into a butterfly, life coaching is a transformational process.  You begin the process and gradually you and your world change – all for the better and more beautiful. Here are five reasons you might want to hire a life coach.

Patterns and Obstacles

This is the reason I hired a life coach.

It became painfully obvious that I was complaining about the same things: I hate my job, I hate my life, I hate the way the sun is shining, and I hate that I have these dreams desires and nothing ever happens with them.

I was tired of the repeating refrain of sadness.

I sent an email to my friend (and now life coach) that said, “I’m sending this email now before I chicken out. I want to hire you as a life coach.”

Listening Skills

I poured out my sad story to my coach in our first meeting. And she listened, and listened, and then kept listening.

There were questions, of course, but mostly she listened.

A life coach listens deeply. Listens with her full self. And, perhaps more importantly, listens without judgement.

And while friends are there to listen, they tend to conspire with you as both judge and jury: you were wronged. Nothing is resolved, other than the fact that you’ll talk again soon.

A life coach, on the other hand, guides you to see your role in the wronging, and to help you figure out ways that it might go different next time.

Encouragement

In addition to listening deeply, a life coach is there to support you every step of the way. She acts as your personal cheerleader, encouraging you with whatever you choose to do.

For some, this may be one of the few times in life where there is encouragement without judgement. If you want to sell your ju-ju beads on Etsy, your coach will be there with you through all the ups and downs.

Accountability

The other thing that a life coach helps with is accountability. I really don’t like the word, but I what it infers. Being accountable means that you are trustworthy – that you will do what you say you will. It means that you are responsible for what happens.

A coach holds you accountable for what you do and say. Together you decide what you want to achieve by the next meeting.

In my case, sometimes it’s very concrete goals: I want to have two blog posts written, or I want to have the outline for the project done. Other times, it’s more fuzzy: I think I want to listen to my intuition and see what it says I need to do.

Your coach keeps track of these goals. And at your next meeting, she will ask you if you accomplished the goals. If you did, great – you can explore how that went.

But what if you failed and just couldn’t finish anything? The answer is still great, and you explore how that went. The point isn’t always to achieve every single goal, but rather to understand your motivation behind the goal and why you were not able to achieve it.

Dreams and Desires

A coach holds your dreams close to her heart. She ‘holds space’ for those things to grow and bloom and flourish in your life.

She helps you explore various possibilities, and then helps you figure out what will work for you to test those possibilities out. And after the testing, she still works with you to hone and further refine your dreams and desires.

And, even better, your coach is there to celebrate all of your achievements – big and small.

Why Hire A Life Coach?

Here are sometimes when a life coach might be right for you:

  • If you have some things you’ve always wanted to do, but just haven’t gotten around to doing them.
  • If you’re feeling stuck or frustrated with how things are and are ready for a change.
  • If you’re going through menopause and feeling like everything is changing.
  • If you’re  newly retired and not quite sure what to do with yourself.

A life coach is here to be by your side through these transformations – and beyond. Contact me today to explore your possibilities or send an email to julie AT julieawallace.com.

Despair and the Bright Shining Light of Just Maybe

We like to think that one person can’t change the world. I don’t believe that’s true.

As one person, you have significant impact on your world. The energy produced by your feelings resounds everywhere. Your energy touches all of the people and buildings and cars and plants and animals that you meet every day.

Your energy can be enough to change the world. Or, at least your little part of the world.

But here’s the thing.

That little ripple of your energy goes out into the world and bumps into other ripples. And on and on it goes, a whole universe of ripples, with you at the center, causing motion to begin.

What kind of ripples do you set in motion?

Watch Your Ripples

With fast-paced chaotic lifestyles, it’s hard to be hell bent on peace, love, and understanding.

(Nick Lowe version here because there’s a sincerity here that is undeniable. He really means it. He also wrote the song, FYI.)

Maintaining a positive outlook and hope for the future of the world is a challenge.

In fact, it’s much easier to be negative. Complaining is easy.

No doubt at some point in your life, you’ve been the one talking up the latest tragedy, bitching about work, or bemoaning your latest aches and pains. Once you start complaining, it cycles on and on..

But caught on the wheel of negativity, despair meets you on the way down. Despair leads you to think that there is no reason to bother to hope that things might change because they never have and never, ever will.

Despair-Be-Gone

Therefore, do your best to make the signals you send to the world be filled with joy and happiness, peace and love.

It’s easy to write that.

But boy, is it hard to put into practice. I fail miserably.

I fail every time I get angry at work, and every time I’m angry at that slow driver in front of me. I fail every time I cuss out my cat for bothering me, and every time I complain.

But I do not despair.  I keep reminding myself of joy and love and happiness.

Frankly, even in the depths of depression, I didn’t despair. I didn’t give up hope that somehow, someday, things would change.

What I didn’t understand then, was that I had to change.

What I really didn’t understand was, that as I changed, my whole world changed.

It’s as if I turned on a little light bulb inside myself and started to shine, just a little bit.

Shine On

So for today, do what you can to shine.

Your little light may be the only ray of hope for someone today.

And that sense of hope ripples around the world. Even if your world is just right here, right now.

Shine on, shine as bright as you can.

 

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