Julie A. Wallace

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Remember the Loosh and the Love!

Not long ago I was blazing through my Twitter feed and read something like this: “I would be happy to fight in the streets over the memo.”

The memo, meaning the Nunes memo that appeared and disappeared from mainstream media quickly. The memo that mainstream media passed off as no big deal, and a whole lot of other media and people read as clear evidence of treason.

And it’s not an exact quote, mind you, but the message and sentiment was clear to me:

  • This person is willing to stand up for their beliefs – yeah!
  • This person is also suggesting skirmishes, battles, chaos, and uh oh – the taint of and desire for war.

And to that, all the molecules in my body screamed no, no NO!

Fair Warning

This is not a typical “I’m a life coach so let’s all say Namaste and set S.M.A.R.T. goals” post. Instead, this is a weird-o, kinda political, way out there post.

I’m going to lead you on a journey into the weird.

If any of this is challenging for you, try to open your heart and mind – just a little bit. I work at keeping mine open. I fail miserably, but you know, I’m only human just like you.

And by all means, if at any point you don’t want to continue this journey, simply move along. I’m OK with that.

This is weird stuff. And I LIKE weird stuff.

So, let’s start with a baseline: I don’t want war.

But with a country portrayed by the mainstream media (MSM) as deeply divided, I often wonder what we can do to avoid an inevitable and violent clash between right and left, republicans and democrats, strict constitutionalists and progressives.

For years I’ve read psychics, channelers, conspiracy theories, and such. It’s been my secret delight to read the stuff that’s ‘way out there.’ And reading it helps me learn how to form my own opinions.

Not that I often voice those opinions, but rather, that I keep them very close.

So here, I’m stripping naked – kind of. At the least I’m letting my freak flag fly a little higher.

Uber Liberal Reads Ultra Conservative Tweets

I’m uber liberal. As in save the Earth, “why can’t we all just stand in a circle holding hands chanting Kumbaya,” hug-a-tree, supporting legalization of all drugs, free access to healthcare, and free access to higher education for all.

I’m THAT progressive, liberal, and whatever the label is these days.

But I’ve learned that it’s a good practice to strive to read voices that are different than mine: it broadens my view, and allows a little light of understanding to shine into my consciousness.

In that spirit, I set out to read conservative voices on Twitter.

I was surprised to find parallels between conservative Tweets and ‘weird-o’ words of psychics, channelers, and conspiracy theories. And we’ll get back to that bit, I promise.

Spirituality, My Short Story

Spirituality also helped me come to the ability to write this challenging post.

I was raised in the United Methodist Church. One year I went to summer church camp and experienced a ‘feeling’ that went beyond anything else. Call it what you want, but -in retrospect- it was a mysterious, mystical occurrence.

It it was loving, kind, all pervasive, and happened in nothing more than the blink of an eye. It changed me. And then life went back to normal.

Over many years I avoided church. I couldn’t explain why, not even to myself, but knew that my answers….

(That’s an important concept. These are my answers, and they probably won’t be the same as your answers. Suffice to say that I was willing to keep questioning every step of the way – and still do to this day.)

…my answers came after participating in sweat lodges, wiccan circles, mystical rituals of powerful energy with no words. I read countless books. I meditated an awful, awful lot. I read online until my eyes dropped out of my head and rolled around on the keyboard.

I was hungry for something that I couldn’t put my finger on. I was for a secret that encompassed nearly anything and everything you could possibly name.

That answer, however, came softly. It was a dawning awareness, a sly smile. And it’s nearly impossible to explain except with words which sound religious.

It’s funny how life loops like that. Time loops. Chaos theory. Refraction. The time continuum is not a straight line, but rather a loopy rope with turns and corners and hills and straightaways made from our own designs and desires coupled with those of all others on Earth at this time.

Time is an illusion. Words are an illusion. Everything is energy.

My Guides

Like any good new age girl in the 90s, I was looking for spirit guides. Eventually, I found/met what I perceive of as a group of guides.

Now most people tend to report that their guides have names. Some of the guides are from specific planets or they hold important-sounding designations. Just imagine this:

My guide is Rajactastana from the distant planet Blogonsia and he/she is a 9th dimension entity talking to me about love and love and more love.

But not me.

I’d ask for a name or names. There would be a flurry of energy that felt like panic. I imagined iridescent robes flowing as my guides turned to one another.

“She’s asking for a name – what do we tell her?”

That question was followed by passionate debate telepathically in a language made only of light that moves so quickly you and I couldn’t perceive it. I could only tell there was something going on.

And to this day, the only answer I ever get back regarding my desire for names:

Energy is more important than any name we might give you.

Got that? The energy is more important.

Energy – how it FEELS – matters more than what it’s called. No matter what “it” happens to be. It can be a book, a group of ‘guides,’ a person I just met, or a politician. Energy can refer to how an object feels in my hands, or how a certain shirt just ‘calls my name’ in the store.

What Is Energy?

Energy is a hunch. It’s a tickle. It’s feeling and beyond feeling. It’s material instinct, gut instinct, just knowing.

Energy is that which informs you to trust or not trust the person you just met. To know if a situation is safe or not.

You respond to the world constantly because of energy, instincts, plus prior knowledge and experiences.

And in our plastic, love-the-celebrity world, we desperately need new definitions. We need new ways of thinking, feeling, sensing, and relating to one another.

Learning about energy is one step in that direction.

But Back To Conspiracy Theories or “Let’s Talk About Aliens”

Let’s pretend, shall we, that aliens exist.

Actually, we don’t need to pretend, or stretch our imaginations too far: We have plenty of popular culture sci-fi space-themed books and movies and tv shows to help us along. Like Mork, the silly and thoughtful alien created by Robin Williams who checks in with his boss, Orson, on the planet Ork.

Let’s Pretend

Let’s pretend there’s an alien culture that you and I can’t see, but we *might* be able to feel.

These aliens come to Earth centuries ago and, unlike you and me who eat food, these aliens in our imaginations eat energy.

But like junk food junkies consuming massive quantities of Cheetos and Coke, these imaginary aliens prefer – nay crave – strong negative emotions.

If you’re despondent, argumentative, or in pain in any way, they’re giddy with delight.

Imagine these pretend aliens around their alien table, gobbling up mountains of mirth, avalanches of anger, and tippling torture on the side. Yum!

In conspiracy theory land, these negative emotions are called loosh.

Our imaginary aliens crave loosh the way you and I crave double stuff Oreos.

Or maybe that’s just me…

Anyway, imagine the pure delight of our pretend aliens if the human things are contemplating war, or thinking about hurting someone or themselves:

  • Snack time!
  • Alien Thanksgiving!
  • Buffet!
  • All you can eat!

Perhaps Some Examples Would Help

Still having a hard time picturing aliens eating negativity? Think again. The idea / concept / reality has been around for quite awhile…

Star Trek The Next Generation’s encounter with the entity Nagilum in Where Silence Has No Lease (Season 2 Episode 2.) Nagilum is fascinated by the various ways humans might die.

There’s the classic scene from The Matrix where Neo ‘wakes up’ only to learn that his energy is being harvested:

Carlos Castenada writes about “flyers” that hover in fleeting shadows. This website has a more full transcript and description. Here’s an excerpt from Castenada’s Art of Dreaming novel.

We have a predator that came from the depths of the cosmos, and took over the rule of our lives. Human beings are its prisoners. The predator is our lord and master. It has rendered us docile; helpless. If we want to protest, it suppresses our protest. If we want to act independently, it demands that we don’t do so…If you look out of the corner of your eye, you will still see fleeting shadows jumping all around you…They took over because we are food for them, and they squeeze us mercilessly because we are their sustenance. Just as we rear chickens in chicken coops, gallineros, the predators rear us in human coops, humaneros. Therefore, their food is always available to them.

Naturally there are various war deities who chomp on all matter of ugliness. In fact, that Wikipedia page lists more than 30 nations who have war deities – far too many!

Then there’s this intense and lengthy article from Bernard Guenther that explores the concept of aliens – and a whole lot more.

And if you start digging, you’ll find even more examples.

Two Wolves

Perhaps it’s all too much for you. Try this tender Cherokee parable instead. It’s about a white wolf and a black wolf, and which wolf we choose to feed. You might have seen this one making the social media rounds.

Back To Reality (Such That It Is) And Those Parallels

I mentioned seeing parallels between woo-woo conspiracy theories and conservative tweets. Like these:

  • a belief that a cabal runs the world
  • a belief that the cabal is evil
  • a belief that the cabal loves war
  • a belief that the cabal loves anything that causes polar opposites – therefore fighting.
  • a belief that the cabal will do anything to maintain the opposite viewpoint of peace, love, and understanding.

Deep State Dive

Of course, you could also spend a lot of time digging into deep state, secret space programs, hidden technology like Tesla’s free energy, or the mysterious messages from Q alluding the imminent actions. Naturally, few of the actions are reported by the main stream media because MSM is controlled by our dark overlords.

(Or so the thinking in conspiracy theory land goes, which I’m inclined to agree with.)

If you want more information on any of this stuff, start googling or maybe read this PDF copy of William Cooper’s Behold A Pale Horse. The mysterious Q shared the link not long ago.

Fair warning: I read through the first two chapters and had to stop: there’s so much information that turns our current world upside-down that I could only sip a little from the fire hose. Cognitive dissonance to the max, baby. But it will lead you into the rabbit hole…and you’ll keep going.

Polarization

Dana Mrkich’s 2018 Energy report talked about how so much is happening so fast:

What we are seeing online now is a mass awakening to all sorts of truths, coming at us from all sorts of angles. What we’re also seeing is an extreme polarization of energies. Divide and conquer is a strategy that keeps us fighting among ourselves. It blinds us to unacceptable situations. Boxing something as a left or right issue keeps half the population from confronting so many things that need to be acknowledged and addressed….

We have people who are awake in one way, but remain asleep in other ways. So it can seem frustrating at times, but the overall volume of awakened energy on this planet has shifted upward in a big way over the last 18 months. Also keep in mind that just because someone holds a different view or perspective regarding something doesn’t mean they are asleep or wrong on that particular issue. They may be highlighting a really important aspect of it that you hadn’t seen before. 

All fascinating, but not the point.

There are people and beings in our world who knowingly and willingly seek to keep us fighting forever.

Think about that: never-ending fighting. What a delicious dinner of loosh!

Suggestions

While you’re dealing with your own cognitive dissonance now, here are some tips for mental digestion:

1. Remember the Loosh!

Negativity feeds the demons – your own inner demons and our pretend alien friends. And as an empath who suddenly finds herself feeling extra-cranky for no particular reason, I know that negativity also feeds the negativity inherent in those around you, so your black cloud storm tantrum can spread to others. Remember the loosh, and feed the white wolf of your soul.

2. Come from the Heart

This is natural, and it’s not advertising. This is how we are naturally, with those we love, with babies, with pets. Do your best to come from the heart at all times. When you slip up, take a breathe, try again.

3. Listen More Than You Talk

Practice listening deeply. Listen with your heart and mind wide open. Listen without thinking about what you’ll say next.

4. Talking Council

In groups and meetings where topics of a sensitive nature are being discussed and passions are quickly heating, resolve to use a talking stick. This is a Native American practice of using a literal stick (or other object) to pass from one speaker to the next. It gives each person a chance to speak, and invites each to listen deeply.

A New Way Forward

Ultimately humanity must find a new way forward. We must find a way to communicate that discourages negative or violent action. We must seek a middle way of understanding, empathy, love, and respect.

Our world cannot make this kind of ascension transformation overnight that is not only about returning the US to constitutional rule, but also about a deep, internal spiritual change inside of each and everyone of us.

There will be some ugly parts (there always are.) Let’s hope it doesn’t come to fighting in the streets.

In closing, I doubt I’ll live to see the full result of this transformation. I’m in my mid-50s, and this change will take at least another fifty years. But I am here now at the start of this -whatever it is.

And part of my job as a human is to a hold space in my heart and mind for the future of humanity as a peaceful people.

What other ways can we find new ways forward?

Deanna Troi Asks Life Coaching Questions

deanna troi asks life coaching questions

If you’ve read my about page, then you know I like Star Trek not Star Wars. During my life coaching training, I decided to see if Star Trek: The Next Generation (TNG) character Deanna Troi asks life coaching questions.

If there’s one thing I learned during a year’s worth of training towards becoming a life coach, it’s that asking a good question at the right time can change a client’s perspective in a heartbeat. And sometimes – just sometimes – Deanna Troi indeed does ask a question that alters perspective.

That said, I think Guinan is better at helping Enterprise crew see different perspectives. Rather than asking “life coachy” questions, though, Guinan tends to tell stories that elicit changes.

What Is A Good Life Coaching Question?

A good life coaching question makes you stop and think. I know I’ve asked a good question when the client can’t respond with a snappy answer.

There’s even a book with hundreds of powerful questions that a life coach might ask – questions like:

  • What are some of your core values?
  • What kind of structure can you place around yourself to make sure you remember to do that consistently?
  • What’s the dream that calls you here?
  • What makes this significant to you?
  • What would it take for you to get to the bottom of this?
  • What does this look like from the other person’s perspective?

These are the kind of questions that aren’t easy to answer. You really do have to pause and reflect before responding. The response can really change your perspective on whatever you happen to be exploring with your coach that day.

And Then I Watched Star Trek

I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve watched the entire seven year run of Star Trek: The Next Generation. But then I got obsessed with the whole idea of Deanna Troi asking life coaching questions, and found Chrissie’s Transcript Site that has most TNG scripts.

And THEN I scanned all scripts on the website for questions asked by Deanna Troi.

Why did I do that? Because someone noticed how many roving potted plants there are on TNG, so – why not how many life coaching questions Troi asks?

It’s remarkable how few lines Troi has. On some shows it’s one or two lines, while on others (The Hunted, Season 3) she has many. And there are even fewer scenes in her (decidedly 80s-styled) office.

There’s a lot more I could say here about the Deanna Troi character -most of it negative – but plenty of other people already have (here – here – and here, too.)

Let’s get to the questions.

Deanna Troi’s Questions

My excel spreadsheet shows 887 questions. Yes, I did put them into a spreadsheet. How else could I figure out if they were good coaching questions?

319 of those questions are about what I’ll call “outer space problems.” These are topics that your average life coach will never need to ask:

  • Is there any indication of temporal displacement?
  • Captain, do you exist in combination with this entity?
  • Are we at war with the Ferengi yet?
  • Did you ever spend time in the nacelle control room while it was under construction?
  • How are we going to know whether the pulse reboots Data’s ethical program?
  • Hekaras Two is inhabited, isn’t it?
  • If we have established that the Romulans were not responsible for the destruction of the Yamato, would it not be prudent to withdraw?
  • Mister Tarmin, are all Ullians able to read memories?
  • Is there any evidence at all that they’re sentient?

There are around 63 questions that are not even remotely appropriate for a coach to ask:

  • Come in for a drink?
  • May I join you?
  • Wouldn’t you rather be alone with me? With me in your mind?
  • Data, have you been in my quarters?
  • You don’t remember us falling in love and getting married?
  • Can you deal me in?
  • Why didn’t we do this a long time ago?

Here are some of the questions that definitely aren’t coaching questions. But then again, maybe they could become coaching questions if they were restructured a bit:

  • Memory or nightmare?
  • You have no idea who she is?
  • Can’t you intensify that emotion?
  • Why do you have all this anger toward me?
  • Where are you?
  • Should I?
  • Why should you care whether I trust you or not?
  • Why can’t you turn your disadvantage into an advantage? (I really wish the line had been “How can you turn your advantage into a disadvantage?” That would be a great coaching question!)
  • Are you ready to cooperate?
  • Do you think you’re the only one in pain?
  • Do you think you have the monopoly on loss?

Good Coaching Questions, Deanna!

There are more than 300 questions that are ‘good’ coaching questions:

  • Captain, if I may recommend? (Here, she’s asking permission to recommend. This is important in coaching.)
  • But did we tell them anything they want to hear?
  • How did you manage that?
  • Now what?
  • Mmmm? (This is a good question, I swear. It allows the client to expand on the topic.)
  • When was the last attempt made?
  • What do you wish you had said?
  • Why are you so hard on yourself? (this one’s questionable – it might put the client on the defensive.)
  • What do you mean?
  • What is it you’re looking for?
  • May I make a suggestion?
  • What do your feelings tell you?
  • What?
  • Why not?
  • May I ask how?
  • What have you discovered?
  • How are you feeling about this now?
  • What is your plan?
  • How’s it going?
  • What’s wrong?
  • How does it feel being with people again?
  • Is that what you’ve decided to do?
  • If you had to give this feeling a name, what would you call it?
  • What’s wrong?
  • What were you trying to do?
  • What happened next?
  • How so?
  • What?
  • May I ask why?
  • Is there a solution?
  • Do you have any idea why that might be?
  • And from these specifics, what general conclusion can you extrapolate?

Did you notice anything about the “good” coaching questions?

They’re all open-ended questions. They all invite the client to continue to add to the train of thought, or expand their perspective. The questions start with What, Who, How.

The questions usually don’t start with the word “why.” In fact, asking “why” puts the coach in an aggressive position, and entices the client to defend themselves.

Empathic Abilities?

It’s fairly well known that the writers of Start Trek: The Next Generation didn’t really know what to do with Deanna Troi and her “empathic” abilities; she was there for sex appeal.

Fortunately over seven seasons, the character did grow and change – and even became a bridge officer. Along the way, Deanna Troi also asked some good life coaching questions.

Midlife Is The New Black Dress

midlife is the new black dress

When you hit midlife, you’ve reached the equivalent of life’s little black dress. You’re confident and comfortable in your own skin – no matter what you wear. Without a doubt, midlife is the new black dress.

The blog world is full of women in midlife and beyond. The blogs often explore how they got to where they are now, and especially that inner transformation that seems to happen in midlife.

Here’s a look at some of my favorite fashion blogs written by and/or featuring women in midlife and beyond.

Advanced Style

Ari Seth Cohen’s blog was a true internet sensation when it first launched.

His blog focuses on seniors who “…live full creative lives. They live life to the fullest, age gracefully and continue to grow and change themselves.”

Advanced Style has launched some seniors into the internet famous world, and even spawned books and a documentary movie.

To say the photos and stories are inspirational is an understatement. They’re a testament to the enduring nature of the human spirit and the power of transformation through fashion at any age.

Want some inspiration? Have a look at the movie trailer:

WhenThe Girls Rule

At When The Girls Rule, Julia got into fashion blogging because she didn’t see any bloggers that looked like her.

And she couldn’t find consistent clothing advice for someone with her apple-shaped body and big breasts. So she started her own blog.

“I did not feel joy when shopping and usually came out of the store feeling pretty bad about my midlife body,” she wrote in a post that explained exactly why she started When The Girls Rule.

Starting a blog was a big step for someone who had spent about twenty years as a stay-at-home mom.

She hadn’t paid attention to styles, and mostly bought outfits based on what mannequins were wearing.

Here’s a post from Julia about a little black dress that works for her in midlife:

Little Black Dress Anyone?

Bound and determined to change how she felt about herself and to celebrate her uniqueness, she threw herself into learning fashion.

Along the way she also earned a degree from a prestigious university. Now, Julia blogs and offers creative services.

How’s that for a midlife transformation?

Style Crone

Judith at Style Crone started blogging in 2010 as a way to celebrate her love of fashion. Every Monday she demonstrates amazing style and personal fortitude through challenging life circumstances.

“Let’s take back the word crone to its original meaning,” wrote Judith, “signifying a woman of a “certain age’ who embodies all her life’s wisdom, knowledge, experience, and love. ”

Judith worked for many years a a psychiatric nurse working in an emergency setting; she also managed the care of head and spinal injuries.

But she’s always had a passion for fashion and at one time co-owned a hat shop, and sold vintage clothing.

One of her earliest entries was about finding a Versace black dress at a garage sale for $3.

Fashion blogging isn’t always about sharing cute clothes, and Judith demonstrates this in every post. She shared the pain of watching a loved one suffer through chemotherapy, and the pain of being left alone after that loved one’s death.

On the more lighter side, she shared her decision to stop coloring her hair and “go grey.”

Baring her soul this way and sharing stories, Judith is a compelling blogger – and an amazing icon for anyone in midlife.

In a December 2017 post titled The Silver Gown and the Habit of Style she writes, “I never underestimate the power of style to alter the neurons in my brain, and flip my mood from melancholy to a state of playful amusement.”

I couldn’t agree more, how about you?

Midlife Is The New Black Dress

No doubt, you’ve got one or two pieces of clothing that make you feel like a million bucks.

Maybe it’s a well-worn pair of jeans that fit just so, or the perfect pair of heels; it might be a skirt that hugs your curves just so, or a hat that adds a quirky touch.

And that feeling when you know the piece of clothing is just right?

That’s midlife.

You know who you are, what you want, and you know what you need to do to get to that goal. There’s no nonsense, no messing around.

Midlife is the new black dress: it’s the perfect thing to wear.

It’s the freedom to be exactly who you are right now, as you are, without all of the nonsense you did as a younger woman.

It’s classic, contemporary, and it’s 100% you.

P.S. As a coach, I love working with women in midlife. Contact me today to learn more.

Reading Soothes My Soul – January 2018

Reading soothes my soul

Every so often, I take time to reflect on the books I’ve read. Reading is an escape, a pleasure, and quite often a journey into another world. When I read fiction, I find myself being an omnipotent ‘goddess’ tagging along beside the protagonist, second guessing their every move and thought. I clearly envision the surrounding terrain and visualize each of the characters. A good book stays with me for days, months, years.

December and the first part of January have been slow for reading. I’ve moved forward by leaps and bounds with getting this coaching business established, which has left little time for reading. Still, there have been a few good books, and one large grey cat on my lap most nights.

Full disclosure: I am an Amazon Affiliate. If you click on a link and buy something (even if it’s not the particular book,) I receive a little compensation.

The Bear and the Nightingale by Katherine Arden. It’s deep winter and a small village in the medieval Russian wilderness is beset upon by pagan demons. Or is it beset upon by a monk from far away Muscovy attempting to impose new, religious beliefs? Tensions are high in this imaginative retelling of a classic Russian fairy tale. Thank goodness Vasya, the land owner’s wild-child daughter is around to save the day…or does she? I suspect the sequel, The Girl In The Tower, will have just as many twists and turns.

 

Sourdough by Robin Sloan. Yes, sourdough bread and San Francisco, but also high-tech, grazing goats, farmer’s markets, and cricket cookies. There’s a visit to a Chez Panisse look-a-like restaurant, and an appearance of the owner who resembles Alice Waters, the legendary founder of Panisse. There’s a robot that makes bread, too. Sourdough is quick read with a good story. It didn’t take me much longer than making a loaf of bread from scratch to read.

 

Inspired and Unstoppable: Wildly Succeeding in Your Life’s Work by Tama Kieves. On the journey from employee to entrepreneur…. (Wait, did I just call myself a business owner? I guess I did, didn’t I? I’m still getting used to that…) Anyway, while on the journey from employee to creating a dream job/life as a life coach and writer, Tama Kieves has been consistently inspirational. This book is full of sound, heart-centered advice. I have her new book, Thriving Through Uncertainty, loaded onto my Kindle to read, too.

 


Curiosity Killed The Cat Sitter by Blaize Clement. Retired sheriff’s deputy turned pet sitter Dixie Hemingway is no pushover – unless there’s dog or cat involved. And there are the dead bodies that (ahem, mysteriously) keep appearing. But Dixie has a complicated history, and solving murders doesn’t help her keep her cool. I’d read more of these. And besides that, reading about hot Florida days is a fantasy in the middle of a Michigan winter.

 

About A Dog by Jenn McKinlay. Romance, dogs, and small town gosh-golly-gee are in this delightful story. Throw in three girlfriends and you’ve got a charming tale – or should that be tail? I’m sure the others in the Bluff Point Romance series are just as heart-warming: Barking Up The Wrong Tree and Every Dog Has His Own Day.

 

The Conquer Kit: A Creative Business Planner for Women Entrepreneurs by Natalie MacNeil. I bought this on a whim more than a year ago, really before I realized I was truly starting a business. I couldn’t work with this book at all. But then, gradually, as I became more aware of the business that was emerging from my consciousness, this book became an inspiration. It is a business plan, but it’s not stodgy or boring. It causes you to brainstorm and apply solid business tactics in creative ways. There are still parts I haven’t been able to work through. I think that’s the point, though – as I develop as a business owner, I can see returning to this book over and over again to discover fresh perspectives.

Currently Reading

Artemis by Andy Weir. Yes, the guy who wrote The Martian in his spare time while working a computer programmer is back with another book set off-planet. This time we’re on the moon, and all sorts of adventure is afoot in the domed city. The main character is just as sharp as The Martian’s Mark Watney, and in about as much trouble, too. I hope Andy Weir has a few more books like these to write!

What Is A Life Coach?

what is a life coach

My short answer to the question “what is a life coach” is this: a life coach is a trained professional who guides you to move forward by asking powerful questions.

In truth, it’s hard to define exactly what a life coach is because the profession is relatively young and rapidly changing.

What is a Life Coach?

The International Coaching Federation, of which I am a member, defines coaching as

partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential. Coaching helps people tap into their potential, unlocking sources of creativity and productivity.

I’ll bet that mouthful of positive words does not help you understand what a life coach is. But the words give you clues: partnering, thought-provoking, inspiring, and unlocking potential.

What A Life Coach Is Not

My life has had many twists and turns, and I’ve learned a lot about myself by defining what I like and don’t like. I’d think about professions and “just know” that it wasn’t right for me.

For example, I knew I didn’t want to be a doctor. If I ask you what a doctor is, you might answer that a doctor is someone you go to when sick. The doctor examines you, runs tests, gathers blood, and prescribes medicine that will make you feel better. To be super-simple, a doctor diagnoses and fixes people.

Of course that’s an incredibly naive way to describe a doctor because every practicing physician has years of education, training, and experience. Most doctors these days are specialists in the minutia of the functioning of the human body. Furthermore, a doctor can spot in a minute might take you and me a year to begin to diagnosis.

And no, a life coach isn’t a doctor. While I have ICF-accredited training program, I certainly don’t have the years of education of a typical doctor.

However, I do have a more than a half century of life experience. Much as a doctor brings education, training, and experience into each interaction with a new patient, a life coach brings their life experience to each and every session.

Life Coaching Is Also Not Therapy

People sometimes think that working with a life coach is just like seeing a therapist. But partnering with a life coach is not like working with a therapist. Generally, therapy looks backwards to what happened in the past at people and events that effect your current situation.

Therapy sometimes delves into deep dark secrets and trauma. And as those secrets are revealed to the light of your consciousness, therapy helps you learn how to move forward in life.

For me, therapy helped reclaim parts of myself that had been neglected or discarded. I learned that I was fine just the way I am.

Therapy plus meditation and ongoing introspection changed me unequivocally from the inside out. But life coaching isn’t therapy, and if you have unresolved issues from the past, life coaching probably isn’t a good fit for you at this time.

A Life Coach Isn’t A Minister, Either

For foundation-level training in life coaching, I received certification as a spiritual life coach. I love the spirit-filled world of mindfulness and meditation, and know that it plays a role in all my interactions.

But working with a spiritual coach is definitely not the same as being counseled by a pastor or minister. I can’t quote Bible verses or tell you to pray the rosary daily; I have neither the experience nor the desire to do so.

Instead, if you are open to it, we might explore what spirituality means to you, or brainstorm ways you can bring spirituality into your every day life.

If You Are Open To It

The phrase “if you are open to it” is very important in coaching. The coach should not leading where the session goes: that’s always up to the client. So if exploring spirituality isn’t your thing, that’s perfectly OK.

Likewise, the coach doesn’t tell you what you should do. It’s not my decision to make – it’s yours. As a coach I ask questions to help you make those decisions – and sometimes they’re big decisions.

Regardless, you decide where we go on this journey called life coaching. And if you’re thinking about leaving a job, starting a business, or taking a “wild” leap into the unknown, a life coach is the perfect companion.

What Is A Life Coach?

So what is a life coach? She’s your partner on this journey. She walks beside you. She’s your cheerleader. She holds you accountable and reminds you of those big dreams.

She’s the one to whom you confess your deepest and smallest fears. And she’s the one who leads you gently forward until that thing you never thought you could have is truly yours.

Got big dreams? Let’s talk!