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One Emergency Room Visit Too Many: The Dangers of Not Listening to Your Body or Why Self-Care Is The Most Important Care

It’s so easy to forget to care for yourself. I learned this lesson yet again, and am reminded of how self care really is the most important care you can do.

The Official Story (aka, what I told the doctors)

One Monday night, I ate some leftovers for dinner then went to a poetry reading. By the time I came home a couple of hours later, my tummy was feeling weird. I immediately started drinking ginger tea, my number one answer whenever I have an upset stomach or digestive issue. I slept through the night and (TMI warning) had diarrhea in the morning. After that, I was fine.

Or thought I was.

Wednesday, I went to work and started to feel odd. A little tingling in my legs, light-headedness, and a faster heart rate. Eventually, I left the office, went home, fed the cats, and went to the local walk-in clinic. They lectured me about driving with these symptoms and sent me the six minutes to the local hospital emergency room.

With those symptoms, I was whisked behind the emergency room doors and swiftly had EKGs wires, beeps and boops on the monitor, and an automatic blood pressure cup. I peed in a cup, rested, and they put an IV in and started fluids. They diagosed me with dehydration, and sent me home after a couple hours.

I went home, rested, drank a lot of fluids, felt fine, and went to work on Thursday, only to have the same symptoms appear. I took the rest of the day off and went back to the emergency room. A friend joined me. More fluids, more blood pressure, more beeps and boops from various machines hooked to me.

There was a ride to the XRay room for a chest XRay, and two discussions with the nurse practitioner about how ‘our bodies change as we age and go through menopause’ and a couple of conversations with a different nurse. I don’t recall the doctor ever coming into the room; I definitely could be mistaken on that. They sent me home with two prescriptions, a written excuse for Friday off work, and the diagnosis of a UTI and anxiety.

Sounds like a fairly normal story, right?

It’s not, and I’m going to explain how I processed this experience.

Weekend Recovery

I came home from the second emergency room visit. I took a long nap. I got the prescriptions filled. I started taking the medication for the UTI. A friend came over to check on me. I was in the process of setting up Netflix so I could watch movies all weekend.

Over Friday and Saturday, I stayed in the house and did absolutely nothing I didn’t have to do. I indeed did watch several movies, and even read a good chunk of a big book. I took long naps, and cuddled with the cats.

Sunday morning I woke up, and decided to stop the UTI medication. Just two pills had made me terribly sleepy.

Furthermore, my friend had indicated that she’d seen the emergency room team discussing my case, and (most likely) deciding what to tell me. That made me suspicious.

Don’t get me wrong. The folks at the emergency room were fan-freaking-tastic: friendly, professional – everything you want in health care. And I certainly will go back if I’m dumb enough to work myself up into sickness again.

However, my day job is in tech support. Sometimes we don’t have the answers. There are just some things that we can’t explain in a way that truly satisfies the client. We may google for an answer, we may have ten different answers, but -no matter what we say- the client isn’t satisfied. It’s one of the hardest things about doing tech support.

The emergency room staff did exactly what I would do in tech support: they gave me the best answers they could based on the evidence they had. They didn’t have the ability to look at my brain and see everything you’re going to learn about below.

But as I rested and reflected over the weekend, I thought about what had been going on in my life up until that Wednesday when my heart went on overdrive and my legs got all tingly.

And boy, I was not happy with myself.

Process The Story

In my last post, I talked about how to find balance by processing and using the techniques outlined in Leslie Temple-Thurson’s book of polarities, triangles, and squares. Those tools work well with certain kinds of experiences.

This this time, we’re looking at how I processed the experience of being in the emergency room twice and getting a ‘diagnosis.’ It is a different kind of processing and more like detective work.

My job as detective in my life was to uncover all of the things that led up to the emergency room events.

Of course in the heat of the experience, I wasn’t pausing to ask a lot of questions of myself. I was far more concerned about this beautiful body than I was about digging into the tiny details of why this occurred and what I might do to prevent this from happening in the future.

September Self Care

In retrospect, this experience was about manifesting things into physical reality. You can manifest joyous things: a new house, a new car, a pretty backyard filled with flowers. But – for some reason – I’d manifested pain and suffering.

And there were warning signs, of course, but I chose to not pay attention.

I’m sure you’ve never done that, right?

So let’s break this down. What behaviors were occurring to bring about two trips to the emergency room for a relatively healthy person?

Bitching and whining about everything. That’s right, I had my cranky pants on and refused to take them off. If it was sunny and warm, I treated it like a cold, overcast day. I pouted about work and finances and everything. I swam in the soup of my dissatisfaction.

Overwhelming myself with learning things online. I love learning new things and jumped into a couple of classes – all the while not taking the time to regularly write in my ersatz journal or meditate.

Or just, you know, stop already.

About that computer time. Being on a computer eight hours for work and then almost immediately upon arriving home doing another four or five hours of screen time. Just think – that’s twelve or more hours a day in front of a computer, working with multiple screens, and watching YouTube videos, reading blogs, scrolling endlessly through Twitter and Instagram and whatever else I could scroll through.

Reading big books after all of that computer work. Just because my eyes weren’t tired enough, I kept reading for at least another hour after the twelve hours of computer work. My eyes felt like muscles feel sore after overexertion.

Feeling out of sorts. All that crankiness and screentime made me not feel quite right, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it.

Retrospect makes me say, “well, doh.”

Not eating properly. Double doh. And especially not fueling myself throughout the workday. I’d grab a McDonald’s breakfast sandwich at 9, and call that good until 12:30, 1, or later. It’s not. I feel faint without a little something to eat. And I feel even better if I have fruit, then protein – hard-boiled egg, turkey, cheese – and then a good lunch.

Feeling like I’m in the movie Groundhog Day. You’ve seen this movie, right? It’s Bill Murray at the famous groundhog celebration in Puxatanny Pennsylvania. He lives the same day over and over and over until one day he doesn’t.

Wearing skinny jeans and then crossing my legs at the knee or in other odd positions – for all that time on the computer and reading.

Skinny jeans? Not bad. Crossing legs all the time: bad. And especially bad with skinny jeans that are tight on the legs.

One of those things isn’t bad. Heck, even two or three of those at the same time aren’t really that bad. But when you combine those, and carry on that way for a long time, you’re in trouble.

To Add Injury…

In the midst of all of this, I called to make an appointment with my regular physician only to find that, because I’m rarely sick and hadn’t been to the office in three years, I was no longer a patient. Furthermore, to get back in as a patient, there was a two year waiting list.

So I spent a few hours calling around to various physicians trying to get an appointment; I finally ended getting one at the end of November – the earliest any were accepting new patients.

And In The End

Anxiety? No, not really. Too much caffeine and not enough food? Definitely! All wound up over nothing? Without a doubt!

UTI? Doubtful. I definitely did not have classic UTI symptoms like pain when urinating, funky smell to the urine, and pain or pressure in my lower back.

I researched natural methods for healing UTIs. I discussed the whole situation with my friend and with my life coach. I gobbled a whole lot of herbal cranberry concentrate pills; opened and mixed with applesauce and cinnamon it was actually tasty-ish. There were no UTI symptoms whatsoever.

My first visit with the new physician went smoothly, and I got labs done. The test results showed me to be (as I expected) relatively healthy. My ‘bad’ cholesterol is a little high, but that’s cancelled out by my overabundance of ‘good’ cholesterol.

And here’s the really cool thing. I explained the emergency room visits and the steps I took afterwards. The doc listened and approved.

She liked how I listened to my body and my needs and took appropriate steps.

Lessons Learned

I supposed I should have something really insightful to say here or admit that I’ve learned something truly fantastic.

There isn’t.

The insights I’ve had are tiny – like I said, they’re detective work. These tiny realizations are mini enlightenments or little light bulbs shining to help me learn to continue to care for myself better.

I’ve cut down on computer work after business hours. I’ve taken to wearing skirts or dresses and not wearing skinny jeans every.single.day. And yes, my 2019 annual physical is already scheduled.

These little changes are enough to make a difference.

What little changes can you make in your life to take better care of yourself?

Processing Your Issues With Polarities, Triangles, and Squares

In the journey toward higher consciousness, you learn to work on yourself and your issues by processing. What are issues? And what the heck is processing?

You Have Issues

An issue is a vague term that can signify nearly anything that pushes your buttons. Things like this:

  • I can’t stop obsessing about…
  • Conspiracy theories are true (or not, depending on your stance.)
  • I hate my job, life, school…
  • Climate change is real (or is not – depending on your stance.)
  • I get angry when a driver cuts me off in traffic.
  • Politics drives me crazy.
  • Why do I argue so much with my spouse?
  • What has my self-talk sounded like over the last month?
  • Why do I always seem to get sick around Thanksgiving?

Years ago, processing took a long time, or maybe I couldn’t really tell when processing was finished.

I just knew that after thinking about some issue there would be a natural resting place or resolution where it felt like I was finished with the issue for the time being.

That’s not very helpful, is it?

What Is Processing?

Fortunately, Leslie Temple-Thurson offers an excellent definition of processing and some incredible techniques to help with processing in her book The Marriage of Spirit: Enlightened Living in Today’s World:

“Processing is a form of self-inquiry. The term to process means to examine and to inquire deeply into the nature of our conditioned and unbalanced egoic patterning with the intention of finding the truth. We process our consciousness in order to become clear and to find our wholeness.”

Page 23, The Marriage of spirit by Leslie temple-thurston

Essentially, you review the code inside of you and -through processing-replace that with new code.

Processing helps you find a sense of balance for the time being.

Of course, life and consciousness work in spiral patterns, so the issue you’ve worked to resolve today will most assuredly come into your life in the future.

Having processed the issue, though, you are better able to deal with the experience. Processing helps you become calmer and wiser human.

The Practice of Processing

That’s all fine, of course, but what does processing look like in practice? Let’s look at my real-life issue: I hate being told what I can and can’t do.

Like really really don’t like it. Anytime I’m told I’m not allowed to do something, my automatic reaction is WHY? What’s so wrong with? That’s not fair. It’s not right.

It’s a feeling in my gut, in my solar-plexus. This is the location of the solar plexus chakra, the seat of manifesting our personal power in the world.

In Sanskrit, the word for the solar plexus chakra is Manipura, and it’s represented by the element of fire. This area of the body is about being grounded in your power, setting the direction of your life, and holding your opinions and beliefs.

So when I am told I can’t do something, I interpret those words -whatever they are, and however they’re delivered- as a personal attack.

Fire and Anger

The words hit like a sucker punch to my gut. I feel helpless. I feel victimized. The wind is out of my sails and I am the Ancient Mariner, adrift with no wind, no water, and the albatross of anger around my neck.

And boy, am I angry.

It’s a self-righteous, firey, burning anger. It’s the kind of anger that makes me want to scream, “how could you!” in situations where such an emotional outburst would do nothing to move the situation forward, and would – no doubt – cause more damage anyway.

Using the techniques of polarity, triangles, and squares, I can move through these feelings and better recognize them the next time they appear in my life.

Of course it doesn’t quite stop the reaction, but it does slow it down, and make me far more aware of the fact that my reaction is waaaaaay out of proportion with the criticism. And being aware of how you are reacting is one of the names of the evolving higher consciousness game.

The Polarity Technique

I’m going to take a little longer to write out exactly how to do this first technique. And – just for fun and you’re enjoyment of peaking into some of my innermost thoughts – I’ll use an example of me being told I can’t do something… or that I have to do something a different way.

(I’m kind of a little angry just thinking about that kind of a situation, so clearly, there’s more processing for me to do with that.)

The basic steps for the polarity technique are:

  • Pick an experience
  • Write about the experience
  • Pick out important words and phrases
  • Make a list of those important words and phrases
  • Find the opposites
  • Offer it up with a prayer
  • Wait for grace.

After you’ve picked the experience to explore, write it down. Get detailed. .

Writing it out has the ability to take the sting and bite out of the experience; it releases the tension and allows your mind to look at the experience from many different angles.

An abbreviated version might look like this:

I can’t believe that insensitive tyrant stoops to such petty nonsense. It doesn’t do anybody any good if you insist on something that makes no damned sense, and then don’t stick around to help with the implementation. It’s so frustrating to have someone (who thinks they know how this should work) criticize just this one tiny thing, but then never bother to praise the 10,000 other things I do right every.single.day. I know I should calm down about this, and I know that this happens all the time, but seriously? I am so angry. I’m frustrated. There’s not a damn thing I can do to change this situation and I feel so powerless.

After you write that experience down, you may need to take a break before proceeding.

Find the important words and phrases that are repeated over and over in the writing. What’s the theme that comes to you from this experience?

Make a list of those important words and phrases. Go over and over this list and make it as comprehensive as you can. You might even use Thesaurus.com and find a whole host of other words that relate to the list of words you’re focusing on.

Or maybe you’re not as word geeky as I am – lol.

What are some of the key words and phrases from that (very short) rant?

  • can’t believe
  • insensitive
  • tyrant
  • stoop to
  • petty nonsense
  • makes no damned sense
  • stick around to help
  • it’s so frustrating
  • think they know how it should work
  • criticise this tiny thing
  • never bother to praise
  • I should calm down
  • angry
  • frustrated
  • powerless

In The Marriage of Spirit, Leslie Temple-Thurston writes that each word “…represents a vibratory frequency, which fills in the picture much more clearly. The more filled-in the picture is, the bigger the breakthrough you are going to have, and the more tangible the shift will be.”

The next step is to find the opposites for each word on your list.

  • can’t believe —– I believe
  • insensitive —- sensitive
  • tyrant —- benevolent leader
  • stoop to —- raise up
  • petty nonsense —- wisdom and understanding
  • makes no damned sense —- makes sense
  • never helps —- helpful
  • frustrating —- inspire
  • think they know how it should work —- practical experience
  • criticize this tiny thing —- compliment
  • no praise —- compliment or praise
  • I should calm down —- It’s OK to be agitated
  • Angry —- content
  • Frustrated —- fulfilled
  • Powerless —- capable and competent

When you’ve come up with the best list you can, and you’ve thoroughly looked at all of the opposites (really use that Thesaurus website and explore the different ways to express the words) — then you offer it up in prayer.

How you offer this prayer is entirely up to you. It doesn’t matter if you do this formally with a fancy ritual, or if you dance naked in the moonlight around a roaring campfire. Howl at the moon, burn the writing and the list, speak to the goddesses, or have a chat with Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed, nature spirits, and your ancestors all at the same time. Totally up to you.

The important part is that you are sincere in your offering. Really put your heart and soul into the prayer. Aim for something like this:

Dear spirit, guides and ancestors, and all that gather to hear my words, my heart is heavy. I am weary of feeling so unbalanced. Please take these patterns in me and clear them. Do this so I may feel more lighthearted and am better able to be the best that I can be while I am here walking on this earth. I give thanks knowing that this will be done. Namaste. So be it. Amen.

adapted from p. 166 of The Marriage of Spirit

The final step in working with polarities is simply to wait (Temple-Thurston calls it waiting for grace) and writes:

When grace comes in, you may feel a shift in your physical body or in your subtle body. Or maybe you will have some emotions pass through. Or perhaps you will suddenly start getting insights. Or that night you might have significant dreams…”

Eventually, as you work at this, practicing polarities becomes natural. You’ll be criticized and feel angry, but think, “I am angry at these words, and I am also calm and competent. These words are not about me…” or something similar.

Some day, you may even be able to save writing the experience and the words and the opposites for more complex issues.

The Triangle Technique

Once you understand how to work with opposites, processing with triangles and squares is easier to understand. Here are the basic steps for triangles:

  • Choose a polarity
  • Write it on the baseline points of a triangle
  • Find the ascended balance and write it at the apex of the triangle
  • Offer it up in prayer, and ask for the ascended state to be instituted instead of the polarity.
  • Wait for grace.

The triangles work with what my primary meditation teacher might call The Law of Threes: for every pair of opposite there is a higher resolution or balance point. For example,

  • power and powerlessness resolve upward to surrender and humility.
  • Loss and gain resolve as neutrality.
  • Control and loss of control might resolve as detachment, surrender, and neutrality.
  • Victim and tyrant resolve as selflessness and forgiveness.

Temple-Thurston includes a list of ascended balance states — ie, the resolution of that tension between two opposites. Here are some:

  • Acceptance
  • Attunement
  • Balance
  • Compassion
  • Detachment
  • Equanimity
  • Forgiveness
  • Gratitude
  • Harmony
  • Humility
  • Joy
  • Patience
  • Tolerance
  • Trust
  • Unity
  • Wisdom

The Squares Technique

Squares are yet another way to work with issues that just never seem to go away.

  • Choose a polarity
  • Draw a large square. Divide the square into four smaller squares. In the upper two squares write: fear of (polarity 1) and desire to (polarity 1.) In the lower two squares write fear of polarity 2 and desire to polarity 2. See the image below for what it should look like.
  • Apply data — fill in the squares (and the edges around the squares and however much paper you need) with every possible way in which you know that desire or fear.
  • Offer the square up to spirit.
  • Wait for grace.

Temple-Thurston offers plenty of examples to explore in your life:

  • Dependent and Independent
  • Inferior and Superior
  • Approval and Disapproval
  • Lack and Abundance
  • Victim and Tyrant
  • Manipulative and Straight Forward

Try It Out

These three techniques have so many applications, and I’ve only begun to explore them. Truth be told, I’ve only glanced at the rest of the book because these techniques blew me away.

Learn more about the work of Leslie Temple-Thurston at CoreLight.

Download key chapters of The Marriage of Spirit

Buy The Marriage of Spirit at Amazon. (I am an Amazon Affiliate. If you click on a link and buy something (even if it’s not the particular book,) I receive a little compensation. I think I’ve made $5-10 over the years of blogging, probably because I’ve clicked on my links – lol.)

Deep Peace 2018

Almost every year that I have been blogging, I’ve used this traditional prayer as a way to close the year. Blessings to all, and to all a good new year.

This has been an odd year. I feel like I started out going in one direction. The middle of the year brought a strong stop – as in a stop to cause me to stand in the middle of the road and look around.

The end of the year seems to be a launching off in a different, deeper direction. Let that be in peace. 

I’m particularly fond of Donovan’s interpretation this Gaelic prayer on his Sutra’s recording:

Deep peace of the running wave to you
Deep peace of the flowing air to you
Deep peace of the quiet earth to you
Deep peace deep peace
Deep peace of the sleeping stones to you
Deep peace of the wandering wind to you
Deep peace of the flock of stars to you
Deep peace deep peace
Deep peace of the eastern wind to you
Deep peace of the western wind to you
Deep peace of the northern wind to you
Blue wind of the south to you
Pure red of the whirling flame to you
Pure white of the silver moon to you
Pure green of the emerald grass to you
Deep peace deep peace


Best of 2018

Here is a roundup of the various posts over 2018: statistics, counts, and a few other considerations.

Which posts were most popular?

Which are my favorites?

And what movies should you consider watching over the Christmas holidays?

Most Statistically Popular Posts of 2018

These posts got the most traffic, meaning, these are the posts that were most visited, and most read. I don’t think they’re necessarily the “best” posts, though.

5 Questions You Should Ask A Life Coach
Embracing Adventure
Midlife Is The New Black Dress

My Favorite Posts (Don’t Miss These!)

The Shiny Squirrels of Autumn
Despair and the Bright Shining Light of Just Maybe
In Praise Of the Multi-Faceted Self and a Life Well Lived

If you like poetry...

Feeling My Age
Be / Learn / Know

They’re Not Conspiracy Theories 

Illusion, the Q Phenomenon, and We the Good People of Earth
Remember the Loosh and the Love!

Movie Suggestions

Above Majestic, PGS Intuition, and InnSaei

Oldies & Goodies

A couple other posts that give you a real sense of who I am and how I write. Let’s start with Shine Your Light – from December 2017.

Shine Your Light

I have to include this. I think it’s one of the best pieces I’ve ever written on spirituality. 

The Sacred Waterfall

That’s enough, right? There will be one more post for 2018 – my traditional Deep Peace year-end closing. And then, we vault into 2019 and whatever adventures await.

Books for Christmas 2018

Essentially, this is a round up of all of the books I’ve read this year in one place. Think of it as a yearly review and as a way to figure out what books to give for Christmas. For even more book ideas for Christmas, check out the roundup of all of the books from my old blog, too.

Full disclosure: I am an Amazon Affiliate. If you click on a link and buy something (even if it’s not the particular book,) I receive a little compensation. I think I’ve made $5-10 over the years of blogging, probably because I’ve clicked on my links – lol.

Mindfulness and Spirituality Books

       

Mystery School: An Insider’s Perspective by Gayle Clayton. Reading and re-reading books written by your meditation teacher is a very, very good thing. It helps tickle my memories and certainly reminds me of an amazing time in my life. And, if you’ve ever wondered what exactly a mystery school is like, this will help. Your brain will be overloaded with information: exactly what’s needed in this Western world to break through our overthinking over-obsessed-with-details-and-facts-and-figures world. A remarkable accounting.

Mindfulness by Joseph Goldstein. This is a series of lectures by Goldstein, one of the people who brought vipassana (aka mindfulness) meditation to America. Along with Sharon Salzburg and Jack Kornfield, Goldstein founded the Insight Meditation Society in Barre, Massachusetts. When there is a retreat being held at the center, there is always a dharma talk, or lecture, in the evening; this book is a collection of those lectures by Goldstein specifically covering the Satipatthana Sutta, the foundational discourse of Buddha on mindfulness. I find I can only read one lecture a day because each brings so much to ponder. It’s worth it, though, as there are plenty of jewels like this:

An ironic and useless patter that I’ve noticed in my own retreats is that my mind comments on someone not being mindful — or at least not appearing to be in my eyes — all the while being oblivious to the fact that in that very moment I’m doing exactly what it is I have a judgement about: namely, not being mindful! It usually doesn’t take me long to see the absurdity of this patter and then just to smile at these habits of mind. It’s always helpful to have a sense of humor about one’s own mental foibles.

I’ve definitely never been guilty of this, have you?

Mindful Aging by Andrea Brandt. I really tried to like this book, but alas, I can’t do it. The subtitle of the book is “embracing your life after 50 to find fulfillment, purpose, and joy.” It comes off a little too simplistic for me, and probably for you, too.

The Wise Heart by Jack Kornfield. As part of the mindfulness certification, I had to read a book or several about mindfulness. Jack Kornfield is a good introduction, and I really liked how he broke down the functions of mindfulness into things I could easily understand and relate. Gentle wisdom and good storytelling combine with modern psychology.

Clear Home, Clear Heart by Jean Haner. Not long ago I watched a video of Jean Haner in one of those free summits I post about on Facebook. I was captivated by her talking about clearing space, so picked up this book, and within a day or so had cleared myself and my cats – thanks to a pendulum and copper dowsing rods. I cleared the house, too, which may explain the whole basement thing; and yes, the house felt different after I cleared it. Hmmm, maybe I should get certified in space and personal clearing, too?

Chumpi Illumination by Eleanora Amendolara. After my experience at the Sacred Waterfall with twelve crystal Chumpi stones, I finally broke down and bought a set of seven. These are mystical stones from the Peruvian Andes mountains; mine are made of meteorite and are (without a doubt) alive. This deck of cards is helping me understand the basic principles behind the stones I have.

Five Lives Remembered and Between Death and Life by Delores Cannon. If you’re unfamiliar with past life regressions and/or the work of Delores Cannon, these two books are good introductions. “Five Lives” is the retelling of how she and her husband started regressing people and found one person who was particularly good under hypnosis. “Between Death and Life” explores what happens to a soul after it leaves the body.

Writing about American Buddhist Rebel and Unplugging the Patriarchy is a little like writing about the chicken and the egg. They’re so closely related, it’s a bit hard to tell where one begins and the other ends. For example,  American Buddhist Rebel is the teacher’s while Unplugging the Patriarchy is the student’s story; the teacher appears in Unplugging but the student doesn’t appear (at least by name) in American. 

Regardless, I did enjoy both. I can’t get enough spiritual biographies, and both books are that. American Buddhist Rebel: The Story of Rama – Dr. Frederick Lenz by Liz Lewinson is a more conventional biography albeit written by a student of Rama. That is to say, it’s a flattering biography of an even-to-this-day controversial figure. As someone who’s fairly well versed in spirituality (I spent two years working at the Omega Institute for Holistic Studies and writing the catalog/course offerings,) I’d never heard of Rama. 

I really loved Unplugging the Patriarchy: A Mystical Journey Into the Heart of a New Age by Lucia Rene. This novel reads more like a fictionalized first-person narrative, and it kept me on the edge of my seat. Who is the mysterious man in the Pacific? Can he stop the three main characters from dismantling the esoteric rings that bind patriarchy into this world?  

While the teacher, Rama, passed away in 1998, and his work is carried on by the nonprofit Rama Meditation Society.  Lucia Rene is still very much alive and living in South America. Her website offers classes and other teachings online.

Mysteries

   

The Little Old Lady Who Broke All The Rules by Catharina Ingelman-Sundberg. This was a fun little read that I picked up on a late summer adventure to Grand Rapids. I went over for the day and hit Nordstrom Rack, thrift stores on 29th street, Trader Joes, and (how could I not) Schuler Books. I ate lunch and gathered a few books including this one purely for the title. The back-of-book blurb attracted my attention too: “Martha Andersson may be seventy-nine years old and live in a retirement home, but that doesn’t mean she’s ready to stop enjoying life. So when the new management starts cutting corners to save money, Martha and her four closest friends won’t stand for it.” This league of septuagenarians gets up to all sorts of hilarious hijinks and you’ll love it. Thank goodness there’s at least one more in the series: The Little Old Lady Who Struck Lucky Again!

Raspberry Danish Murder by Joanna Fluke. New Hannah!!! I read this super-cozy mystery in one night and am delighted by the end. I wrote about the recipes on my other blog. Though I’ve been annoyed by plot developments in previous books, this one is sweet and complete, just like the perfect chocolate chip cookie.

Christmas Cake Murder by Joanna Fluke. This quick and easy read is yet another in the Hannah Swenson series, and I read it in one night.  There are tasty recipes and a lighthearted look back at the beginning of Hannah’s cookie and mystery empire in the small town of Lake Eden, Minnesota. Charming, as always. Recipes included are: cocoa-crunch cookies, honey apple crisp, anytime peach pie, melt-in-your-mouth pork roast, ultimate lemon bundt cake, Cool Whip lemon frosting, bacon & sausage breakfast burritos, cashew butter blossom cookies, chocolate hazelnut bonbons, ultimate butterscotch bundt cake, Cool Whip butterscotch frosting, ultimate Christmas bundt cake, Cool Whip white chocolate frosting, and minty dream cookies. If you love old recipes, you’ll thoroughly enjoy my other blog – My Great Recipes Collection.

Curiosity Killed The Cat Sitter by Blaize Clement. Retired sheriff’s deputy turned pet sitter Dixie Hemingway is no pushover – unless there’s dog or cat involved. And there are the dead bodies that (ahem, mysteriously) keep appearing. But Dixie has a complicated history, and solving murders doesn’t help her keep her cool. I’d read more of these. And besides that, reading about hot Florida days is a fantasy in the middle of a Michigan winter.

About A Dog by Jenn McKinlay. Romance, dogs, and small-town gosh-golly-gee are in this delightful story. Throw in three girlfriends and you’ve got a charming tale – or should that be tail? I’m sure the others in the Bluff Point Romance series are just as heart-warming: Barking Up The Wrong Tree and Every Dog Has His Own Day.

To Die But Once by Jacqueline Winspear. Move over all you other books, private investigator Maisie Dobbs is in the house. I read this in maybe two or three nights of intense reading. I would do it again – probably when the next book is released. My hopes are up that that will be next year.

The Maisie Dobbs series of mysteries stand out because the characters are true-to-life. They’re believable, likable, and tenacious.  At this point in the series we’ve seen Maisie and her cohorts through the first World War, personal struggles, and now the second World War is starting. Sigh. If only Winspear could write as fast as I can read.

Brimstone by Cherie Priest is set in the early 1920s where talented clairvoyant Alice Dartle has just arrived at the spiritualist camp in Cassadega, Florida. Tomas Cordero, a tailor who lives in Ybor City, Florida, is struggling with shell shock from his experiences in the first World War and the loss of his beloved wife. The paths of Dartle and Cordero cross in Cassadega and combine to defeat a powerful enemy who loves fires.

The Edge of Dreams by Rhys Bowen. Bowen writes the Molly Murphy mysteries series, set in the early part of the 1900s in the New York City area.  Molly’s biggest challenge seems to be balancing what a proper woman should do (stay at home and take care of her young child) versus her natural instincts to solve mysteries as well as any man – including her police captain husband.  Charming, if a little predictable.

The Tuscan Child by Rhys Bowen. Bowen is a prolific author, and this book is definitely not a Molly Murphy mystery. It does seamlessly blend the stories of a World War II British bomber pilot and his daughter in with a quaint rural Italian town. Bonus points for delicious food, but like The Edge of Dreams, this is a charming (and a little predictable) read.

If you enjoy mystery and intrigue set in a not-too-dissimilar setting (albeit that setting is industrial revolution England) you just might like this haunting novel by Ian R. MacLeod. There’s a sick child, a manipulating mother, and gritty fantasy. What’s the book? The House of Storms by Ian R. MacLeod

Urban Mystery & Other Fantasy Books

Darker and grittier than your typical cozy mystery, but oh so interesting!

    

The Greywalker series by Kat Richardson: Poltergeist, Labryinth, Vanished, and Seawitch, and others. This urban fantasy series features private investigator Harper Blaine who just happens to be able to see between the worlds. Start with #1 in the series, Greywalker, which explains how Blaine got these talents, among other things.

On that same trip, I bought Bibliomysteries edited by Otto Penzler. This is a collection of short stories about bookshops, libraries, book collectors, and booksellers. Authors include Mickey Spillane, Nelson DeMille, Anne Perry, and Laura Lippman. The subtitle of the book says it all: stories of crime in the world of books and bookstores.

Seanan McGuire is rapidly becoming one of my favorite authors. I learned about her from a friend who reads more than me and we both have devoured most of her books – which is saying a lot. The InCryptid series follows professional ballroom dancer turned friend-of-monsters Verity Price as she shimmies at the bar, tumbles across rooftops, and fights the good fight. All that and burgeoning true love. First in the series is Discount Armageddon. I just finished Midnight Blue-Light Special, too.

Stealing Shadows by Kay Hooper. I picked up a series of three Kay Hooper books at the autumn book sale at my local library because they looked interesting: a psychic helps police catch killers. Unfortunately, this got just a little too dark for my tastes, perhaps even a little too unbelievable. I’ll donate this series back to the book sale for next year.

    

The Fifth Season by N.K. Jemisin.  So many good series, so little money to go and buy all of the books. If you’re a fan of dystopian fantasy, you owe it to yourself to seek this series out. I’ve only read this first book, but it’s worth finding.  And as it’s the 2016 Hugo Award Winner, your local library may stock a copy or two. As I said, this is a trilogy, so if you’re able, you can definitely grab all three books here.

The Inheritance Trilogy by N.K. Jemison (The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms, The Broken Kingdom, The Kingdom of Gods, and the bonus material “The Awakened Kingdom.” I’d looked for other books in the Fifth Season at local bookstores, but have had no luck. Finally, I came across The Inheritance Trilogy at a Barnes and Noble; it’s not the same series, but it’s a doozie of a series all on its own. As this is a 1400-page compilation, it’s hard to sum up the plot in a few short sentences. Suffice it to say that the ruling class is deposed, and a new class begins to rise. Oh! And there are gods and goddesses involved, too. Fantasy and storytelling at its very, very best: go read some of this stuff.

The Wall Of Night Series by Helen Lowe: The Heir of Night, The Gathering of the Lost, and Daughter of Blood. If you thought I was enthusiastic about The Fifth Season, you haven’t seen anything. This fantasy series by Helen Lowe blew me away. I gobbled these three up as quickly as I possibly could. That’s saying something because Daughter of Blood is more than 700 pages long. The series is epic – a battle between good and evil led by two awkward teenagers with impressive abilities – and the world-building is magnificent.

The Brightest Fell is the ninth book in The October Daye Series by Seanan McGuire. I really tried to dislike this series, I really tried. At dinner one night I said I thought the first book was well written but just too violent for me. And then I read another two or three and didn’t stop until I finished the whole series. It easily took me less than two weeks to glide through all eight books; and now I long for the magical world of the faerie with all of the political intrigue, infighting, and imaginative world-building. October “Toby” Daye is a half human half fae (as in fairy or fairy-ish) hard-boiled detective type who also happens to have considerable talent with the decidedly not human skill of ‘riding blood.’ When she tastes blood, she sees and experiences the story of whomever the blood has come from; and given that she’s a detective, that blood is often coming from a freshly dead body. If you love fantasy, this is a great series to consider.

Beach Read Books

      

 

Sourdough by Robin Sloan. Yes, sourdough bread and San Francisco, but also high-tech, grazing goats, farmer’s markets, and cricket cookies. There’s a visit to a Chez Panisse look-a-like restaurant, and an appearance of the owner who resembles Alice Waters, the legendary founder of Panisse. There’s a robot that makes bread, too. Sourdough is a quick read with a good story. It didn’t take me much longer than making a loaf of bread from scratch to read.

The Last Girls by Lee Smith. If you got together with college roommates, you’d have a lot of fun, right? I would! But these roommates and friends seem more bent on destroying each other, or at least hurling insults and mean glances. There is fun, to be sure, as the women recreate their trip down the Mississippi, but I wouldn’t want to be along for the trip.

Summers at Blue Lake is the first novel from Jill Althouse-Wood. Take one miserable divorce, two grandmother lesbians, and fond memories of summers spent at the lake…then combine with the pieces of a puzzle coming together in one bittersweet picture. It’s a darned fine summer read.

Looking for a heart-warming novel about girlfriends? Add a little knitting into the mix, and that’s exactly what you get in The Friday Night Knitting Club by Kate Jacobs. There’s friendship, love, secrets, and miracles – everything you’d really want or need in a chick-flick book.

The Forgotten Room by Karen White, Beatriz Williams, and Lauren Willig. This is a pleasant, predictable read based in the gilded age of New York City. You know this story: servant girl falls in love with a wealthy boy and there are complications. Yawn. How three successful authors can write such an average story, I’m not sure, but they definitely pulled it off here.

The Lost Carousel of Provence by Juliet Blackwell. Cady Drake is a social misfit and down on her luck: her adoptive mother has passed away, and now Cady is alone in the world. She moves forward in her life through her old cameras and photographic skills. When a friend urges Cady to accept an assignment photographing the old carousel’s of Paris, the adventure truly begins. If you’ve ever loved riding on a carousel and fallen in love with the gorgeous sculptured creatures, be sure to add this to your reading list. History, mystery, and a little bit of love are included, too.

Still Life With Bread Crumbs by Anna Quindlen. This is more of ‘love’ story that I like. A famous female photographer based in New York City, newly divorced and financially unstable, rents her fancy loft-like apartment and escapes to a small country town. Naturally, she falls in love with a local boy, because doesn’t that happen to everyone? Fortunately, Quindlen adds just enough twists and turns to make this book charming.

History and Other Non Fiction Books

    

The Memory Code by Dr. Lynne Kelly. As I write this, I’m about halfway through this book, subtitled “The Secrets of Stonehenge, Easter Island, and Other Ancient Monuments.” It’s incredible. She’s explored how Australian Aborigines encode memory (events, people, seasons) into places, and then extrapolated and applied to her own life. In one chapter she takes the reader on a walk around her neighborhood. She uses the objects and places to help her remember geological and archaeological history.

 As Epsi [her dog] and I walk down the drive from home, the first life – the first photosynthesis- is happening… We walk through geological eras and eons, one per house: Hadean, Archean, Proterozoic, Paleozoic, and into the Mesozoic. The last house on the block has a very messy garden, which makes remembering that this is the Mesozoic very easy.  For a reason I have never been able to discern, Epsi doesn’t like the Mesozoic and tries to head back home when we get there. I pick her up and nod to the dinosaurs as I carry her through the Triassic, Jurassic and Cretaceous. From the Pliocene on, she is perfectly happy to walk, even though the big noisy dogs are at the house with Lucy, the famous australopithecine from the Pliocene who has no idea the stir her skeletal remains will one day cause when they are found over three million years later. I turn the first corner in the Jurassic, 200 million years ago. By the time we reach the next corner, now well into the Cenozoic, we have encountered many long-extinct hominid species. Homo erectus stands upright just as I get to the last house on this block. The corner is one million years ago, which I decided was the best place to change from geologic time to archaeological time and enter the Paleolithic.

But what really kept me reading is the fact that she has applied this knowledge of encoding memory into many other ancient monuments around the world – including Stonehenge and New Grange. Fascinating!

Weird Scenes Inside the Canyon by David McGowan. If you don’t know it already, I love me a good so-called conspiracy theory. I even wrote a little bit about the whole QAnon stuff going on this past year. QAnon and David Wilcock both posit that something much bigger is going on covertly and that we’ll all know about it soon enough. So it’s the perfect time to read this little collection of stories from McGowan who wrote about a lot of very interesting things. This book explores the Laurel Canyon scene in the 60s and 70s that spawned a whole hoot of musicians: the Byrds, the doors, Buffalo Springfield, the Monkees, the Beach Boys, the Turtles, the Eagles, and more.  And it especially delves into the underbelly of that scene (think Charles Manson connections) and a lot of military connections.

A World Without Whom by Emily J. Favilla The subtitle for this book is “The Essential Guide to Language in the BuzzFeed Age,” and it should come with an English teacher alert: you won’t like this one bit. I did, but perhaps that’s because I am online so very, very much. This truly is a guide for the new way of writing that has developed online. It’s not about proper sentence structure or well-developed thesis; instead, it’s about accessible, friendly writing. And she likes the Oxford Comma – hallelujah!

Inspired and Unstoppable: Wildly Succeeding in Your Life’s Work by Tama Kieves. On the journey from employee to entrepreneur…. (Wait, did I just call myself a business owner? I guess I did, didn’t I? I’m still getting used to that…) Anyway, while on the journey from employee to creating a dream job/life as a life coach and writer, Tama Kieves has been consistently inspirational. This book is full of sound, heart-centered advice. I have her new book, Thriving Through Uncertainty, loaded onto my Kindle to read, too.

The Conquer Kit: A Creative Business Planner for Women Entrepreneurs by Natalie MacNeil. I bought this on a whim more than a year ago, really before I realized I was truly starting a business. I couldn’t work with this book at all. But then, gradually, as I became more aware of the business that was emerging from my consciousness, this book became an inspiration. It is a business plan, but it’s not stodgy or boring. It causes you to brainstorm and apply solid business tactics in creative ways. There are still parts I haven’t been able to work through. I think that’s the point, though – as I develop as a business owner, I can see returning to this book over and over again to discover fresh perspectives.

The Apprentice by Jacques Pepin. I love a good autobiography and, for sure, this is one. It’s filled with anecdote after anecdote about celebrated chef Pepin’s life, and a handful of recipes. There is a grueling old-fashioned apprenticeship in France, and then Pepin arrives in America. The rest, they say, its nothing but history, and the story-telling is charming. 

Even More Fiction Books

  

The Bear and the Nightingale by Katherine Arden. It’s deep winter and a small village in the medieval Russian wilderness is beset upon by pagan demons. Or is it beset upon by a monk from far away Muscovy attempting to impose new religious beliefs? Tensions are high in this imaginative retelling of a classic Russian fairy tale. Thank goodness Vasya, the land owner’s wild-child daughter is around to save the day…or does she? I suspect the sequel, The Girl In The Tower, will have just as many twists and turns.

A Hundred Summers by Beatriz Williams. If it wasn’t for the hurricane, this would be a wonderful summer beach read.  And that hurricane is ever-present because the reader knows it’s sneaking up on the characters, yet they remain blissfully unaware of what’s on the way. The story twists and turns to unravel Lily Dane’s family mystery and slowly winds up to that hurricane. The final chapter is thrilling, and the epilogue shows how love stands the test of time.  Sigh.

The “Honor Harrington” novels by David Weber. Also recommended by a friend, this is another sci-fi epic space odyssey of novels. I chunked my way through ten of them and had to stop – not because they’re not good, mind you. Instead, I got tired of the militaristic (warmongering?) focus. But if you love sci-fi, don’t let that stop you from trying these out; I suspect I’ll be back into the series at some point. Start with the first in the series – On Basilisk Station – to get a real feel for the brilliance of Honor Harrington.

Featuring two sisters who are (seemingly) totally opposites, The Cookbook Collector by Allegra Goodman is tasty.  And the novel is not so much about the sisters as it is how they find their way in the world, and how one of them discovers her true passion in some old cookbooks. 

The Book of Air and Shadows by Michael Gruber A thriller with books, bookstores, book writers, and book restoration? Yes, please. There’s a secretive twist on Shakespeare, too. This book spans centuries and continents and is a truly fun read. I’d read more by Michael Gruber.

I keep wondering why so many post-current society stories are filled with tragedy and struggles. I always imagine the opposite of that: a bright and beautiful future for all. Nevertheless, Station Eleven by Emily St. John  Mandel is a different kind of dystopian story filled with a traveling band of actors and musicians, and an entertaining one at that. A flu pandemic ravages the world, and -twenty years later- we travel with the troupe through what used to be known as Michigan. There’s a violent prophet, and a city growing where there once was an airport. And if you’re a Shakespeare fan, there’s King Lear on stage in Toronto all those many, many years ago – and that is the special twist.

Artemis by Andy Weir. Yes, the guy who wrote The Martian in his spare time while working a computer programmer is back with another book set off-planet. This time we’re on the moon and all sorts of adventure is afoot in the domed city. The main character is just as sharp as The Martian’s Mark Watney, and in about as much trouble, too. I hope Andy Weir has a few more books like these to write!

Peace Like A River by Leif Enger is Midwestern to its core, and dripping in the possibility of miracles that float through this novel like snowflakes. The novel is gripping, haunting, and all of those things you and I love about a well-written piece of fiction. It covers one short year in the life of eleven-year-old Reuben Land and his small, broken family as they race across the cold north searching for his renegade older brother. Fresh like winter snow, treacherous like an ice storm, and tragic and beautiful all at the same time.

In the aftermath of Germany’s World War Two defeat, a lonesome woman and her two boys return to the castle of her husband’s ancestors. There, a disjointed group of women gathers and rebuild their lives. The Women in the Castle by Jessica Shattuck was inspired by tales told by the author’s relatives and took more than seven years to write. Grim and gripping, shimmering and bright, this novel tells stories and reveals secrets for everyone.

For even more book ideas for Christmas, check out the roundup of all of the books from my old blog, too.

What books are you giving for Christmas this year?

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